Episode: 1890
Title: HPR1890: A short walk with my son
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1890/hpr1890.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-18 10:51:07

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This is HPR episode 1890 entitled A Short War With My Son.
It is hosted by first time ghost fellow member and in about 19 minutes long.
The summary is, may take some war with his son Alex and about a bunch of random stuff
about things.
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Alright, see you later, come on then Trouble.
Alright, see you later, have a good day.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Right, see you later on.
Come on Alex.
Alex, hold on me.
You say goodbye to Amy.
Is that it?
You want to go get a kiss and cuddle?
Can we put his nappy away?
Yeah, cause your nappy's hanging out.
There we go.
Alright, come on hand.
Yeah, we're going there.
Yeah, that's that this car.
Well, hi everyone.
My name's the lovebug.
This is my first HPR recording although I'm not a stranger to podcasting.
I haven't been my son.
What's your name?
Come here.
Come here, come here, come here.
Speaking to that.
Yeah, speaking to that.
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
Who's this?
Alex.
Alex.
And we're walking down to our local church as we have a posh coffee and breakfast morning.
Note to self record a HPR episode about coffee.
What's the matter?
You don't know.
You don't know, okay.
You are walking.
So this episode has actually been inspired by an episode that John Culpers recorded,
which I really hope you don't get to hear.
And the reason I'm saying that is because it's actually an emergency show which is sitting
in the HPR feed for when we run low on shows.
So John Culpers, the inspiration for me actually getting off my behind and actually recording
a show for HPR finally.
You'd think that as a long time podcast, I've been podcasting seven and a half years now,
I would have actually got around to it.
And I have actually got a podcast sitting on the cutting room floor from Oddcamp last year.
Come on, sweetheart.
Which I haven't yet finished editing.
Great intentions, but I'm sure as any activist will tell you, intentions don't count for a thing.
So, a little bit about me.
I'm my real name's Dave.
I'm from South Yorkshire in the UK.
I'm not a South Yorkshire native.
I'm actually from the south of the UK, you know.
I'm from southern England.
I guess I couldn't tell you for my accent.
Don't fall over, sweetheart.
I've not been crossing a road anyway.
And yet live up here with my family.
My wife Caroline, musicalist, she's otherwise known.
And my children, Amy, Kara and Alex, who's with me.
At the moment, walking incredibly slowly, dude.
Can you speed up?
Yeah, that's nice.
So, yeah.
What's what?
It is a bird.
So, I was inspired by something that John Colt posted on his new social feed about a lapel mic.
That he had purchased.
And I think he said he managed to get three of them for about...
I think he said six or seven dollars.
Which was about five pounds or so here in the UK.
And I already had an outstanding issue that I needed to resolve with a guard to a lapel mic.
In our church, we have a wireless transmitter pack for the microphone.
Yeah, you can hold that, darling.
Oh yeah, okay, do you want to push it?
Okay, I'll hold this.
There we go.
And the wireless mic, the lapel mic bit, the wire had actually come loose at the plug that goes into the transmitter pack.
And it kept cutting out.
So, I've already had already...
Whoa!
You crashed it.
I had already replaced the lapel mic once.
But it cost about 25 quid, was that $37.38, maybe $40, just to replace this lapel mic.
And I've been trying to get in touch with the company to get a replacement, but they've not been particularly forthcoming.
Do you think they want my money, wouldn't you?
They've not been particularly forthcoming about it.
So, on the suggestion of John Colt, I ordered a packet of five of these little cheap lapel mics.
Newer the makers, N-W-E-R.
I'll stick a note in the show notes to the link for this.
Can we switch to Red Crosser Road?
Come here, hand.
Yeah, this road here.
Good boy.
No, no, no, hold my hand.
Hold my hand.
Please.
Come on.
You have to hold my hand, Alex.
You're crossing a road.
Yeah, I know, darling.
I know.
Look, all right.
We're off our road now.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
Ah, terrible twos.
So, I thought what I'd do is I'd take a couple of these into the church and try it out on the battery pack, on the transmitter pack, to see if it works.
So, taking out what is effectively a £30 replacement part for £150, which, that's a win in my book.
So, yeah.
Come on, darling.
Look, sweetheart.
Alex.
Alex.
We want to get there today.
Don't we?
What's what?
That's a tree.
Yes, it's a tree.
Yeah.
So, a little bit of my background then.
I've been podcasting seven half years as I mentioned before.
Podcasts such as, you may have heard of the bug cast, which is the podcast I started with.
I'm also a contributor to the Duffa cast, which some of you I believe have heard of.
With HPR stalwart such as Ineskius, McNarlow, X-Pap Paul, you may have heard of,
Chocolom and Yannick.
We're often different countries in Europe, which is accidental.
It wasn't the intention.
But the only requirement for taking part in the Duffa cast is you must be over the age of 40.
I'm not the youngest one in the group, but not by much.
Alex, come here, please, darling.
Darling, Alex, you're going to get wet feet.
Now, come on.
I know you're walking, but you're also walking in thick.
Oh, yuck.
In thick grass.
Oh, look, you know, you're soaking.
Well, you've got to walk in that for the rest of the time.
Come this side.
You're numpty.
You are walking.
But I'd also contribute to a couple of other music podcasts as well.
I'll put some relevant things in the show notes for that.
You're what?
Hands in your pocket.
That card didn't sound well.
Come here, darling.
Give me your hand.
The crossing your road.
Give me your hand.
Give me your hand, please.
You're crossing your road.
Wait a minute.
There we go.
Go, go, go.
Here we go.
You can put your hand back in your pocket once we have crossed this road.
Yes.
There we go.
I'm also a...
Sorry, note yourself.
Do an HPR show on how I got started in podcasting.
I'm also a Linux user, so that kind of puts me into the free software bracket.
Note yourself.
Do a show about my journey into Linux.
See, all these shows that I am ripe, eligible to do,
and it's just finding the time to do it.
Although I really don't have an excuse at all.
On my note, darling, that's nasty.
No.
Do you know what that is?
No.
Alex?
No.
Do you know what that is?
It's dog poo.
Yes.
Oh, dear.
How's the mouse at baves?
That's dog poo.
Yeah, there's lots of it around sweetheart.
Despite the fact that people get fined in this country for allowing their dogs to poop on public walkways.
Hmm?
Found it.
Found what?
The dog poo.
You found a tree.
Found.
Found it.
What do you, what have you found?
What is it?
It's a tree.
You found a tree.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's a tree.
There are loads of trees, aren't there?
It's a tree.
Hmm?
It's a tree.
Loads of trees.
It's a tree.
That's a piece of bag, sell it to a window.
I'm not going to try and wear that one out.
It's actually quite a beautiful October morning.
My watch says it's nine degrees outside.
Nine degrees Celsius, that is.
That would be...
Oh, good grief.
Nine, 81 divided by five.
It is 16 plus 32, 30.
So, it's that's 48.
Is that 48 degrees?
Yeah, 48 degrees Fahrenheit.
Yeah, so use the metric system here in the UK.
Well, there's some things, not for others.
Still wouldn't go into a pub and say,
can a piece have half a liter of ale?
What a pint.
Despite the fact that we invented the Imperial system,
there are certain things that we insist on...
on metricising.
Note to self,
to show me the variances between the different measurement system.
Oh, dear.
I'm not making a note of these as I go along.
I'll just...
when I go through and edit this and do the replay.
So, I've got no idea how this is going to turn out audio wise
because I've only ever used this...
this is the pedal mic once,
and that was in test conditions.
I did a very short recording.
I'll link to that in turn as well.
Recording on my Nexus 7,
both with and without the pedal mic,
and the pedal mic was a huge improvement
because the microphone on the Nexus 7 is quite rubbish.
And then again, on my Olympus DM3,
which I'm actually recording on at the moment.
Actually, what I'll do,
I can get the DM3 out of my pocket.
The internal microphone, say hello Alex.
Hello.
So, you're actually hearing this in...
recording this in glorious stereo,
but I will mix down to mono before it gets rendered.
I'll put the mic back in.
There we go. We're back on the Olympus helmet now.
Alex, please don't...
Where's the aeroplane?
Oh, yes.
Oh, excuse me, good grief.
One thing I will do.
And actually, this is an HPR show
that I've been wanting to do for quite some time.
It's going to be a Contra show.
I know that...
That is a van.
There is a van coming.
There's a lot of opinion
about what constitutes acceptable
with regard to audio quality.
And I know the general rule is,
if you can hear it, it's good enough.
And I want to counter that argument
because different people listen to different shows
in different circumstances.
And until recently, until I started car sharing,
most of my...
Most of my podcast consumption was in the car.
Now, I don't have a particularly quiet car.
It's a bit noisy. It's only a small car.
I haven't got your phone, darling.
And when you're going 17 miles an hour down the motorway,
the road noise is remarkable.
I haven't got your phone, darling.
Have you got your phone?
Yeah.
Where?
No, it's not here.
And I personally feel that a small amount of work,
and I'm about a trivial amount of work,
just by throwing the end audio file
through a service like Alphonic.
Which is free, up to two hours of processing a month.
It would make huge differences
to the output of audio quality recorded on.
Portable recorders or laptop microphones are such like.
So I will do an HBR episode on Alphonic as a service.
And what it actually does and how it improves output.
But I'm going to throw this show through Alphonic as well.
Just to see if it makes a difference.
Oh, excuse me, if it makes a difference.
We're going to cross the road here, sweetheart.
So give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
No, give me your hand.
No, give me your hand.
Come on.
I know you hold my hand when we're crossing the road.
Good boy.
Up you go.
Go that side, that's it.
And you're not on the roadside.
All right, come on then.
Although I might decide that once I've actually heard this show through
that audio quality is so awful that I'll just dump it in.
Come on, darling.
What?
There's not a car coming.
Come on.
Come on.
Before the coffee goes.
I want coffee.
Come on.
Please Alex.
Do you want to go to the bus chair?
You want to go to the bus chair?
Oh, come on then.
Oh, I didn't expect that.
He's, sir.
No, no, no.
You don't want to go to the bus chair.
Right, if you don't want to go to the bus chair, then you walk with me.
I don't want to go to the bus chair.
I don't want to go to the bus chair.
Up you go.
There we go.
All right, let me put the bag over the back here then.
No, no.
Yes, yes.
No, because you'll...
Oh, there.
How's that?
Is that about here?
Right, there we go.
But the bag can't fall off now.
No, other side, this side.
This side.
Done.
No.
Right, so let's just say then, you slip on some of that moss.
You go rolling down that hill and you land in the road.
Is that what you want?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Fine.
We'll let that happen then.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Come here, man.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
All right, come here.
I want to talk to you.
I want to talk to these people.
No, no, come here.
Talk to the microphone.
Hello.
So come and say hello.
Hello.
All right, your name is Alex.
Alex, and how old are you?
Hello.
You don't know?
Yes.
What comes after one?
Two.
Yes, right.
You are two.
Well done.
Clevver boy, two and a half, aren't you?
Yes.
Wherever your sister's gone.
They've gone to the shop.
They've gone to the shop.
No.
No.
Where have they gone?
I don't know.
You don't know.
Well, they've gone to the cinema.
No.
Yes, they have.
Because your big sister, Alex, don't come here, please.
Come here.
Come here.
No.
Your big sister is 10 years old next week.
And they've gone to see, with some friends.
Hotel Transylvania, too.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
What are you going to show me?
What are you going to show me?
Alex, come on darling.
Right, you're getting in the push chair.
Right, push chair.
Come on then, please.
It is now nearly 20 past 10 in the morning.
You are the slowest walker in history.
For somebody that I struggle to keep up with.
It's actually very easy right now.
It's nothing.
It's nothing for you to worry about.
Come on.
Hey, it's not Dora.
Dora the Explorer.
No.
Ding that.
That's better.
So, anyway, we're not far from the church now.
So, I shall leave you in peace.
Hopefully you've not fallen asleep.
So, hope you enjoyed it.
We will be back soon at some point.
So, this is a love bug from the UK.
Sign off and we will speak soon.
Say bye bye, Alex.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
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