Episode: 1102
Title: HPR1102: Speech Impediments
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1102/hpr1102.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-17 18:57:16

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Hello, everybody. My name is Dortador Geek, aka Steve McLaughlin. This is my second HPR episode,
first HPR episode. I was slightly inebriated talking about how it is actually very important
to listen to older people around us who personally witness things. This is going to be another
cast which deals with something I consider to be personal, and that is speech impediments.
Let me first say this cast might get a little colorful, make it a little animated, I might get a little fired up,
so young ones might not want to listen to this. But that said, people right now today say to me quite frequently
that they do not realize I have a speech impediment. Let me say when I was younger and by younger,
I mean actually middle-aged now where I was at, I could not say more than two or three words without having very hard stutters,
that kind, or blocks where I'm sitting there trying to say a word for 30 seconds, like,
and I just couldn't talk. With that said, I had a very strong realization at a younger age,
and that was a lot of ignorant people in this world make a direct correlation between speech impediments and intelligence.
If anyone else has a speech impediment out there, you might come across that as well. People basically instantaneously think you're stupid
because you cannot talk clearly, or they just think that you don't know what you're talking about or you forgot something
and you can't remember something. Still to this day, I actually stutter quite frequently on my own last name,
McLaughlin. Right now talking to you guys, it comes out quite clearly. Quite often someone says my name and I go,
it's Stephen McLaughlin. And the ignorant folks around very quickly during that pause say,
what's wrong? Don't you know, don't you know your own name? And to be quite honest,
those are the people that I instantaneously put in my head as the ignorant folk, the folk that I do not trust,
I will not trust, and in the end quite frequently I do not like. Maybe it's a bit brass for me to say that,
but the same token, it's a bit brass for them to be so ignorant in my eyes. Throughout all school,
I constantly got picked on and got the living crap beat out of me by other students basically because I couldn't talk.
I actually had teachers publicly in class make fun of me, call me out to say things in front of class,
knowing very well I could not do it and laugh about it. All of that, to be honest,
made me even more introverted, made me even want to talk to people less.
I will say up until my mid-twenties, it was quite bad. I would be quite honest,
stutter anytime, anywhere, especially when I was on a phone. I will say even to this day when I'm on a phone,
my stuttering is a lot worse and I think it's because I cannot see the person's reactions nor can they see the fact that I am having a hard time with a word.
So I think it's a little bit easier for that person to assume that I just can't talk kind of thing.
I will say it has not really been until podcasting came around and I used to almost harass podnuts.com.todnutz.com with my voice mails into their podcast.
For decade plus, I was a Windows tech, I know a lot of dirty secrets had to get stuff done.
And whenever he would say something and basically add on to it, well, I'm not really sure, but this is what I did.
I would, man, hop on my phone really quick and give him my answer. Well, this is how I did it.
Not saying one way is right or, like, you know, one way is wrong.
And one thing I figured out was being in a position of authority did help reduce the amount of stuttering I did.
With that said, whenever I had to do things at work and when I was in a position of authority, I also stuttered a lot less.
I will say around when I first started, let's say, consuming the alcoholic beverage before the age of 15 or so, I did notice when I was drunk, I also stuttered a lot less.
So my speech impediment is at least partially to mostly mental based.
And what I really mean by that is, little backstory, I was born premature six months, fam, I came out, I was born dead.
I was put in an incubator for weeks upon weeks.
Apparently, part of the incubator lights burnt a spot on my retina and it was on one side of my eye.
So I would constantly try to follow that and see what it was and figure what it was back when I was infant.
And I couldn't catch up to it so I would just sit there all day looking at it going back and forth with my head left right, left right, left right, all day long.
Before I was six months old, 12 doctors independently at Johns Hopkins said to my mother that I was mentally retarded.
Needless to say, she went to a 13th doctor because of the first 12 she didn't like.
13th doctor put a pair of glasses on me where my one eye was covered up and I stopped doing it.
And he said, well, obviously this is an eye issue.
Well, because of that repetition, speech therapist say that's where my stuttering abode from too.
I would look to the side and go, and I would start to say a word and I wouldn't stop saying it because mentally I would reset and go back and then follow the spot again, back and follow the spot again.
So I was almost bred with a speech impediment.
I honestly do not know how many speech impediments are truly physical based.
Like there's a deformation somewhere in the vocal cords.
I will say I believe a large percentage of them are mental based.
The examples I give is James Earl Jones, the voice behind Darth Vader.
I heard him speak multiple times about when he was young.
He was like me.
He could not say three words in a row without having an incident as he would always call it.
So with that said, I have made it a goal of mine to constantly push myself to doing more things verbally.
I am at a point in my life.
I don't give a flying shit if someone thinks I'm not smart because I stutter.
To be quite frankly honest, as far as I'm concerned, it is their loss.
If they are that ignorant, if they are that shallow, if they are that rude about the human beings around them,
that they think they can judge somebody just upon how clearly they talk.
I don't care about them people at all.
In one shape way or form, they can, as far as I'm concerned, drop off the face of the planet.
I have been pushing myself now for well over a year.
Now the five podcast week, and I put in, have a talk at OLF.
I will say I wasn't only accepted at the talk at OLF, but they have me in their teaching track at OLF.
I don't know if I could put more pressure upon myself as the pressure that I'm going to feel when I'm sitting in front of actual living breathing people in Columbus Ohio
on Saturday, October 29th, talking to them about Lennox, what Lennox is, why Lennox is.
The saving grease I have is not that I'm picturing people naked or any of that stuff because to me that is stupid, pointless, and does not work.
I'm going to try to remind myself I am sitting in a position of authority.
These people are here not to hear me stutter, not to laugh at me, not to point at me and say what the hell is wrong with you, not to say what's wrong, can't you remember what you're talking about.
But instead to actually just sit there and maybe learn a little bit about how I perceive Lennox works and how I perceive new users should use Lennox.
I will say the main reason I've been able to do five podcasts a week and the main reason I've been able to push myself to do this talk at OLF, it's the support of the community.
People have emailed me at least 100 times in the last two years saying they have a speech impediment as well.
They hear me every week getting quote-unquote better and it's really nice to hear someone like them as they put it.
I will say if you do have a speech impediment and you don't confront it, if you don't hit it head on, I really encourage you try to.
The only way you're going to get better at speaking, the only way you're going to advance your communication skills to sound politically correct is to try it.
Now podcasting to me is super easy because you're essentially sitting at your computer talking.
There is nobody standing there looking at you. There is no one mocking you. There is no one questioning whether or not you know what you're talking about. It is just you.
The second thing is do not over edit your podcast. It will sound bad, it will sound pretty recorded.
People need to hear the ums and the hesitations and the stutters to be honest to know that you are real and this is a real recording.
This is not something fabricated, but this is actual someone.
There I say sharing their soul with you, opening up and letting you see what's on the inside.
With that said, if anyone out there does have a speech impediment and they want to talk about techniques, individual techniques or things that I've done that I think do help, please do not hesitate to contact me.
At door2doorgeekatgmail.com, that is d-o-o-r-t-o-d-o-r-g-e-k.com.
I'm going to do this on one of those shows too, but I really cannot thank the community enough for the support they've given me.
If you get a Kickstarter.com and look at my campaign page as they call it.
You'll see I had a very low number set of $500.
I had one computer die on me. I had a second computer start to fail on me and I wanted to keep podcasting, period.
I want to keep doing it and I couldn't wait for my own income to cover it because I'm a state employee and it would have taken two plus years.
I'm going to save up enough money for a motherboard ramming CPU.
So I was encouraged to reach out so I did.
I asked for a petally $500 as of this recording right now. It's up to $2,900.
And that's not the kicker.
I had a group of 16 listeners give or take a few, get together behind my back and send me what is easily a $1000 computer.
And then I had another listener in Carolina independently send me a computer which is another easily $1000 computer.
So now my hardware needs are more than adequate to do anything I want to do.
I will say those kind of people dare I say empower me.
They don't know it maybe but because of their support I am able to speak clear or I am able to speak with less hesitation.
I also used to do a lot of changing of words.
I would start to say something in my mind I knew.
Well I'm going to stutter on this word so I would figure out before I got to that word what was a word I could put in its place that I wouldn't stutter with.
And because of that I sounded extremely undereducated I will say which is also I would say a reason why it was really hard for me to get jobs.
A lot of bosses would take the speech impediment during a interview as me either lying about something or I was undereducated.
I now feel much more prepared to go and try to better myself in my career.
And it's all because podcasting enables the host to do things at their own rate at their own pace at their own speed at their own time.
And there is no better podcasting that will let you do that except for HP are you can submit one cast a week one cast a month one cast a year or five every day.
It's impossible to podcast too much if you think you have anything worth saying.
And what I really mean by that is everybody has something interesting to say just because you might think it's not there will be a audience out there that will think it is.
Do not sell yourself short do not sell your experiences short do not sell your knowledge short.
You people out there that have not submitted an episode of HP are speech impediment or not you people have ten times more knowledge than what has already been given out to HP are.
Needless to say if you people would take the time to record a single blurb whether it be three minutes or five minutes even.
You people have enough power behind you to make HP are pretty much the mecca of knowledge as it comes to anything about our human condition whether it be barefoot running which was an entertaining podcast.
Over about rocket science satellite communications hacking on your iPhone which is another very entertaining episode.
So I encourage everybody take the time record something if you need a server to do audio conferencing do not forget.
Open speak dot cc it is a site put up on my good friend john he pays 100% of the fees with that server.
And if you download mumble on any operating system the server name is whenever you want it to be the server address is mumble dot open speak dot cc the port is six four seven four seven.
And your nickname is anything you want to be and you can have as many people as you want connect to that server talk about anything you want to talk about and record it from within that interface.
I honestly think that more people need to record experiences that they've had things they've learned or things they want to learn.
But with that said I honestly cannot thank the guys at HP are can at 51 50 of everybody the things I can't remember you know without you guys.
I don't know if I would have actually considered doing a podcast at all listening to you guys basically empowered me with that said if you want to know more about me.
You just got a door to door geek dot com and the main thing I really want that I do not get enough of is emails telling me I'm wrong about something.
So if you think I'm wrong about something or you know I'm wrong about something please take the time to explain to me what it is I'm doing wrong.
I have two truths about my existence that I try to uphold in these to me are facts hard coded facts.
One I think it is it is in my DNA to try to do better than my parents did try to be better than they did and it wasn't that they were bad but as generations go on we should constantly try to do better.
The second goal is everything I learn I feel utterly obligated to share back out with anyone who is willing to listen or to learn.
And if I am spreading something that's not 100% true when I'm trying to teach people about stuff I need to be corrected as soon as possible as quick as possible and as accurately as possible.
That means you don't just send me an email telling me I'm an asshole I'm wrong actually explain how I'm wrong.
And I also just want to take this time to really thank a lot of people because without them I wouldn't have any inspiration to do any of this and it honestly goes from the gambit from double in Dan Clot 2 Peter 64 Russ winner Tracy Holtz.
And man who can forget Lennox reality I'm sorry if I could be a tenth of what that podcast was able to do for me I have more than met my goal.
So I definitely want to just thank everybody again don't forget support HPR because you should always support those who support you and you people out there know you're getting a lot of support from HPR.
So give back and with that I want to thank everybody have a good day.
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