Episode: 1726
Title: HPR1726: 15 Excuses not to Record a show for HPR
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1726/hpr1726.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-18 08:17:36

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This is HDR Episode 1726 and titled 15 excuses not to record a show for HDR.
It is hosted by Nightwise and is about 19 minutes long.
The summary is, inspired by a recent meeting with Ken Fallon.
Nightwise presents 15 excuses not to record a show.
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Hello, Heiko Public Radio. This is Nightwise, checking in with the show for HPR
entitled 15 lame reasons why not to record a show for HDR.
This show was inspired by me meeting Ken Fallon and some of the other HPR crew
on the latest episode of Fostim and Ken telling me about the fact that he needs more shows
and people don't record shows and why don't people record shows.
So I thought, you know what, I'll create something, a little show a sound bite that
Ken can use to slap people around who say that they cannot record a show for one of the following
15 reasons. So here we go. 15 lame reasons why not to record a show for HDR.
15 lame reasons why not to record a show for HDR.
Reason number one, and you have the right gear.
Roughly translated, I don't have the right gear.
Buhu, you don't have the right gear. You don't have a twitch brick house. You're not
little apart. You might not have a plop filter, a pre-amplified condenser microphone,
a 24-slide mixer, or I don't know your own space station orbiting the earth where you can record
your shows in silence. I don't care. You don't need a lot of gear. Do you have a device
that can record audio digitally? Like for example, your phone or an MP3 player or your computer?
Well, that's good enough. If you can record on it, record on it. Okay, the quality might not be
so high fidelity like it was recorded in Abbey Road Studios in London, but we don't care.
It's about the content. Case in point, I'm recording this on a 11-inch chrome book running
Ubuntu on the side and talking into my Apple earbuds. That is what I'm recording on.
Lamex used number two. It doesn't sound improvised. Translated, it doesn't sound so polished.
No, it doesn't sound so polished. There might be some umbs and urbs there. There might be
some background noise. You know what? We like that. We don't really care for shows that,
you know, we like shows that are well produced, but they don't have to be because with HPR,
it's all about the content. And let's face it, there's nothing more fun than listening to
somebody do a show and then suddenly hearing in the background, honey, you left the toilet seat
up again. Which is absolutely brilliant. It are these little things in the background that don't
make it sound polished that make you sound human. And that is something HPR listeners relate to
other humans. So please don't be the next Adam Curry and make it sound all super polished.
It's good the way you do it. You're human. We appreciate it.
Reason number three. I don't know how to upload. Well, you've recorded a show and you don't know
how to upload. Go to the HPR site and it is explained to you in ridiculous detail. If ridiculous
detail is not enough, go to the HPR IRC channel and wind about the fact that you cannot upload,
you have great content and there is no way you can submit it to HPR. Can Fallon will pull on
blue tights, is red cape and fly over to your house to help you. Next excuse.
Translated. I don't have a radio voice. Well, it's a good thing you don't have a radio voice
because everybody at HPR would sound like this. You don't need a radio voice. You need a human voice.
You have to be intelligible so we can understand what you're saying. But I don't care if you sound
like an umpalumbai who has his testicles caught between a vice. As long as I can understand what
you're saying, I don't really mind your voice. It's the content. Next excuse.
You don't have the time. Interesting you don't have the time. I am here in the morning
in between a quick coffee because I left early from home to beat traffic and a business meeting.
I have exactly 20 minutes record this show. I make the time. It doesn't have to be an audio
version of the Lord of the Rings that you're going to record. Something short and sweet is
good as well. Next reason. I'm shy. What was that? I'm shy. Oh, you're shy. Well,
recording a show for HPR is the perfect way to get out of your shy zone because you are behind
a microphone. Nobody can see you. You can record as many times as you want until you think that you
have it right down to a tee and want to submit it. This is a great way to hide behind the curtain
and still be the powerful wizard of Oz. You're shy. Use HPR to get over it. Perhaps you can
later on even talk to girls or other boys or girls or other girls or other humans or non-humans
or animals. I don't care. Use HPR as a kind of a soapbox to stand on and share your content.
You'll get good feedback and that will help you get over your shyness. Believe it or not, it's true.
Now, reusing gear like this is interesting, especially when your screen locks.
And I have to lock it in our record. Next reason.
Translated. I don't have anything to say. Well, we'll be judged that you don't have anything to say.
Just pick something that you're enthusiastic about, whether that be electronics, tech, internet,
cyber stuff, hacking, or the fact that you love strawberry racing, where you actually race
life strawberries across a maze. No matter how strange your topic is, there will be somebody who's
interested. And if they're not, they'll just skip your episode. That's the great part about HPR.
Next reason.
The stuff I know about is really niche and nobody is going to be interested.
Again, if it's strawberry racing, that's your thing. Tell us about it.
Perhaps we don't know it exists and we are very interested. Perhaps we're not interested and
then we'll just skip your episode. Try it. Try us. Record a show about life strawberry racing
and see how popular it is. Next excuse.
Translated. What if I get negative comments?
Well, my dear boy, slash girl, grow a pair. Grow a pair of testicles or whatever goes to
goes for a sense of, you know, being able to hold your own on the internet. What if you get negative
comments? Probably you won't. And if you do, well, just deal with it. Everybody likes or dislikes
a show and if there are trolls out there, we'll beat them up for you. Next excuse.
Who would listen to my show anyway? Again, we'll be the judge of that. If you don't submit
one, nobody will listen to your show anyway. So if you submit it, somebody listens to it and you
thought, what the hell was this about live strawberry racing? He might not have liked the episode,
he might found it weird, but he will be entertained and somebody will have listened to your show.
It's not a reason not to record one. If you don't record one, nobody will listen to it.
Then the five final excuses, what I call the procrastinational ones.
Translated, I've never done this before. Well, yes, you've never done this before.
We never walked on the moon before. That doesn't mean we didn't try and we did. So if you haven't
done this before, do it the first time, just do it and you'll be rid of this excuse. Next excuse.
Oh, you'll get around to it someday. And when someday, when the HPR feed has been silent for
months and everybody has stopped subscribing because nobody has submitted a show, because
everybody said, we'll get around to it someday. Well, someday might be tomorrow or the day after
that, but I prefer someday to be today. Next excuse. I recorded a show and things to me.
I recorded a show, but I'm too afraid to submit it. Yes, I know where you are. You've recorded
a show and you've listened to it over and over and over again. And you thought, oh my god,
I sound so lame. Well, that's in your head, not in ours. Just submit it. It doesn't have to be
perfect. Please, as my old boss used to say, and he was Dutch, and the Dutch guys will understand.
Her best is the valence of the Toute. The best is the enemy of the good. If you keep looking for
perfection and cutting out things and re-recording and re-recording and re-recording,
you'll kill the spontaneity of it and you'll also kill the chances of you ever being satisfied
with what you do, because you will never be satisfied with what you do. We might be perfectly
satisfied with you too. Just submit one. If you don't fart halfway through and we can hear it on
the microphone, that's fine. If you do fart halfway through and we can still hear it on the
microphone, that's even better, so please submit it. It takes me a long time to connect and uh.
Translated, it takes me a long time to edit out all the ums and the urs. Well, then don't.
I don't care if you say um and ur. If I talk to regular people and they say um and ur,
I don't slap them around with a keyboard and I say you better edit out those ums and urs,
because it really annoys me. Everybody says ums and urs, because it's human your brain has to
look for information and then go um uh uh and then submit it. It's the natural flow of conversation.
You're not, you know, voicing an audio book. You're doing a podcast. Ums and urs are fine.
And the final episode and the final excuse, sorry, see, even I make mistakes. I don't cut them out,
I just do it. I don't know, I love you editing it. Your excuses are becoming more and more uh
susceptible to me, but what I could make from that is I don't know enough about audio editing yet.
Well, if you can press the big red button, you can record and you can save the file
and you can submit it, I think that you know enough about audio editing. You don't have to be
somebody who masters all the filters and the compressors and all of the ding dangs that make
you sound like the freaking voice of God. If you can cut out the big the bit in the beginning
where your wife is saying, honey, you left the toilet seat up and the stuff in the end where you
say, oh my god, I finally did it. Internet fame is mine. Then and you can you know,
save and export that and upload it. We're happy. You don't have to be an audio editing wizard.
Just record a freaking show. So that's my submission to HPR today. It's not a perfect show. You
might hear some crackling and some overmodulation. It's not the perfect audio quality. It's not
the perfect voice. I even have an accent because I'm not a native speaker and I even have
ums and urs and I made some mistakes and still I submit the show because the content is important.
I make mistakes that makes me human that makes you guys relate to me.
And that is what HPR is all about. I have talked about an obscure topic. That's something you
might not know about yet and you might be interested in now. I have not talked about life's
strawberry racing. I'm sorry, I'm not really familiar with life strawberry racing but I would
love to listen to an HPR episode of somebody doing an episode about that. This episode is short.
It's not as long as the audio version of the fellowship of the ring. That's okay.
So you see, I've debunked a lot of lame excuses and most important one is I've submitted a show
to HPR and that is what important. See, errors. That is what is important because that keeps
HPR going. It keeps you guys interesting and it keeps Ken Fallon from going absolutely insane.
Until next time, this was Nightwise from the Nightwise.com podcast,
podcast with hacks, tips and tweaks for cross-platform geeks over at www.nightwise.com saying there are
no excuses not to record a show for HPR.
Nightwise.com, the podcast with hacks, tips and tweaks for cross-platform geeks.
Tired of choosing between Max, Linux and OSX? Listen to the Nightwise.com podcast and learn how
to decide from operating system to operating system using our hack, tips and tweaks for cross-platform geeks.
To attack into your way of life and let technology work for you instead of the other way around.
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