Episode: 4581
Title: Sharp Intake of Breath City (A.K.A.) How I learnt to stop worrying about the fork bomb
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr4581/hpr4581.mp3
Transcribed: 2026-07-31 16:14:24 (official HPR transcript)

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This is Hacker Public Radio Episode 4581, for 2026-02-23
Today's show is entitled, "Sharp Intake of Breath City (A.K.A.) How I learnt to stop worrying about the fork bomb"
The host is not_toby and the duration is 00:36:31
The flag is Explicit, and the license is CC-BY-SA
The summary is "My journey into the magickal world of beastie bits on disks and daemons all the way down.."
How do I hack a public radio well I never thought I'd do this but here I am recording
finally it's been a long long road to get to this point I've actually trying to do this
I started listening to hack a public radio back in like 2011 probably no yes yes
2011 which is when I and I thought I don't want it to do is I've
remember back in the day people used to make these these podcasts about their sort of journey
into free software and hack a dumb if you like becoming a hacker you know in the in the
OG sense of the term you know multiple MIT model railway club hacking so I'm not a model railway
enthusiast but I I do like thinking with computers and have done since since yes about 2011
is when I first cut my teeth on on Linux yeah I historically very much nerd most of my life but
more of a humanities nerd as a child I was very interested in kind of philosophy and literature
and sort of art house cinema and art the arts really the arts and the humanities were much more
my speed I sort of loathed or was poorly let's say I you know I didn't get you know I grew
I'm I'm to give some context I'm 41 now so I grew I missed the era of like BBC micro
and it sounds as though the generation prior to mine were sort of I don't know about this like
computers were exciting it sounded like computer sounded very exciting in the ACs you know
interesting and weird and quirky and it sounded like people who came of age around that time
had a different experience to to my generations which I see at school for me was essentially just
learning Microsoft utilities it was word power point XL right and I fucking sorry then I had to put
the explicit tag on this bugger but I do like to talk like say that sometimes yes it was fucking
awful and I and it turned me off computers completely but having said that I was also not a very
technically minded individual at least I didn't think I was maybe I was in other domains maybe I
had to find that out later this might be a really long episode by the way um maybe we would have split
it up in some parts I don't know it's wonderful what you guys do I haven't actually listened
to a public radio and sometime but I do I do mean to change that and get back into it um anyway
we'll get there we'll get there um yeah so very much not not didn't think of myself as a computer
person at all um didn't like math and science and I thought that was computers but I've kind of
kind of kind of since come to realise that computers are much more are actually potentially
much more about philosophy and linguistics and you know systems right systems and language um you
know obviously the math stuff is there and science stuff is there at the low level if you know
good which is actually what I'm really interested in I do struggle I struggle with the nitty gritty
of compsai but but try to push myself through that and again we'll get to that but um so yeah
2011 I uh I was um also very um got into skateboarding and BMX riding my teens and 20s which
have a lot I feel like those communities and if anyone knows about Chappard Rodney mother and he's
like one of the famous most famous skateboarders of all time and also kind of a genius and also
very interesting open source and he he actually makes these these kind of interesting
comparisons between open source communities and skateboarding communities or I like to think of
I like to think of like skateboarding BMX like roller-blading or you know parkour like these are what I
call I don't even think of them as sports I like or they're sports they're free sports and
free them right like they they encourage um playfulness and they encourage a kind of physical
start of hacking like hacking the environment which is like you know so there's a lot of
overlap I think in our communities um and it's also about pushing the standard forward so like
progression there's a there's a there's a constant turn of progression that happens in those activities
let's not call them sports I don't like the terms sports I think of them more as like performance arts
or um yoga really it's like a spiritual thing for me those activities um but they aren't
tremendously hard on the body and so what happened for me was I sort of destroyed my uh one of my
knees gradually and so the over time and so it's the right hold age of of 27 I was diagnosed
with the arthritis of someone twice my age and under when a um um a pretty significant procedure
where they they took the meniscus from a dava and implanted it into my knee because I destroyed my
meniscus and then they took some stem cells and and injected them into the you know some anyway it was
it was a it was a it was a big thing and I and I basically had to sort of sack off
that stuff which is really kind of consumed my time and energy prior to that and I was um
I sort of accidentally became interested in computers uh via one trying to revive the passions
out of the kit as I say for sort of arts photography filmmaking let's share I had to sort of
for one reason or rather I won't get into you know it's trying not to make this too much of a
low story but basically I sort of lost touch with that that side of myself and uh so I was trying
to get into photography and now when I was a kid photography was I just used a film camera because
it was just kind of prior to you know the advent of um you know just I mean I'm sure this
camera's around but they weren't really you know anyway I didn't use them so coming back to
trying to come back to photography and around sort of I know in 2010 obviously digital cameras
were all the rage now and film cameras were kind of rendered obsolete so I just get a film camera
actually but I mainly focused on digital and I suddenly all right I never until that point of
my life this is how much of a kind of Luddite techno-phobe sort of person I was I really did
consider myself quite anti-technology I've sort of done a strange um round robin and I've sort of
ended up back in the same place which again we'll get to hopefully find it interesting um if not
obviously you know there's plenty of other things to listen to but um no so god of computer for the
first time you know I'd use my parents computers and stuff you know and that was all again
at school like you know just hated to be honest I hated computers they were annoying
and I have to say I lay that blame squarely at the feet of of of I'm just gonna go for it
counting Microsoft I'm sorry if you're American I know how Americans feel about that but
our scripts and Australians do love the word and sometimes call each other that word is a
tower of endurance so I'm hopefully no one's fallen off their shaft counting Microsoft I can't you
know like honestly they just they run everything I do I still have to deal with you know Microsoft
software what I'm looking at teams right now um oh god it's just spec wasn't it um I mean
and all this business of them becoming all over the world anyway let's not progress um really turned
me off computers when those did really did just hated it all everything always seemed to break
they just seemed like a nightmare to deal with nothing worked like I wanted to see I just didn't
did I just hated computers as a result but as I say getting it back in front of trying against
just photography back in photography in my late 20s or mids late 20s when I knew that my days of
jumping down stairs on bikes and skateboards were kind of numbered um I got a computer got a
sample it was a sample RF 11 like 15 inch I had like an Nvidia you know I did I'm a nerd so I brought
all the magazines you know you know the internet was around but now I was such a lullite like I brought
magazine I was a magazine but I used to fucking be obsessed I used to have like pulse magazines for
all the things I was interested anyway so I brought computer magazines you know did all this research
got the laptop I thought you know my budget blah blah blah blah blah got this laptop and got it and thought
fucking hell you know like I want to understand how to take care of this thing I was you know I was
how much money is working as a um what a fan man delivering fruit and veg around South
Hampton and um you know so I was you know you know how much money it has 600 pounds of
all this went a lot of money for a yeah anyway so I've bought this laptop so often and I was like
I need to learn to take care of this because the computer every time we use you know I just
could use always ended up coming shit essentially we'd get in you computer the family was
and then it would just gradually over you know just deteriorate and weird things would happen and
you'd look at it and you'd be like what what's going what is this like back in the bad old days you know
we're talking like when does I start using like when I you know from like when do the first we've
probably got our first computer like was the end of the late nineties I remember my dad sort of
clunky all laptops and so I don't know what Windows but after I'm this T-that 95,000 then three to like
this X-peen it was just horrible I hated it um so it goes to the computer it was seven
Windows 7 era this was and uh coming up towards Windows 8 um but I remember yeah just deep diving
computer magazines and then of course you know um what's the word I'm looking for a god when
something is fate or um inevitably inevitably you know I discovered Linux I just like what is this
you know I can put it put it you see see if you would ask me what an operating system was at
that time my life or price that I would have just looked at you blackly I like I wouldn't have
had a conception of what an operating system was which I think is kind of interesting like as
you know being now what 15 years deep into being a computer like I think it's really important especially
like this whole year the Linux desktop and trying to advocate for people to eat for your name
and so stuff like it's important to like sometimes step back and realize that like normal people
don't like they don't they don't walk at you know I mean like I was one of these people that's
I'm care and I don't you know like it's not you know you know like it's not
didn't you you asked the man on the street like what's not for a system most people just
looking at you blackly I don't know you know and I didn't and then suddenly I was in this I
want it you know as I say I sort of stumbled into it I just became fascinated I thought wow
I don't understand how the fucking things work and they are like so much you know God there's
we live in the computing you know we live in the age of technology computers so I at that time my life
having the energetic space and time to focus on something other than destroying my leg
through on high impacts absurdity I
yeah I was like wow I just want to fall down this rabbit hole and fall down the rabbit hole
I did the the photography never came to much I did take some rather nice photos actually
camera but then I ended up sold it all I just just fell down there I had this operation and
I was basically bedroom for our six months after it we wasn't successful but it let me fall down
the rabbit hole quite deeply and I know immediately from as soon as I kind of got into computers
I was straight away like that Linux thing I don't know as I say probably just kind of
because it's kind of a countercultural sort of slightly hippy-ish type deal do you know what I mean like
GPS I was like wow I remember watching that that amazing documentary revolutionary
sort of like yes man these are my people this is definitely the direction I want to you know
I want to explore with with computers and offering systems in general just
immediately found but as soon as I sort of realized that oh there was this thing called
an operative system like how like I just wanted to understand first principles
around computers and so I am I remember I was watching like I think it's CS50 a highly recommended
to anyone that's like looking to get you know that that foundational level
understanding of you know just like binary that blew my mind just understanding that everything was
zero and one I was like what excuse me how on earth is that I think it was my bling it was such an
exciting time it was such an exciting time and it was I mean I needed it because it was pretty devastating
to lose to be so physically incapacitating how having you know spent so many years being
such a physically capable person so it was really like you know computers learning about computers
and and by extension of that really open source because I think if open source wasn't there I
think if the if they're kind of slightly weird counter cultural oddness of you know the Linux ecosystem
which is coming let us sort of you know sad it's a bit like skateboarding me and then picks
now like you know Microsoft being the biggest donation to these days the latest foundation and
kind of trying to subsume the whole thing it's like really like which is kind of wire ended up being
more of a BST person but again we'll get to that primarily what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of
a despicable hipster at heart and if it's popular I don't want anything to zero that
and if it's slightly weird and niche and off the wall then I'm there you know drew a
length so I'm very much a BST guy I really want to do I want to experiment some more with
the template because that's I think computer software as artists I think extremely interesting
anyway I'm jumping ahead probably needs to well I might commit this because I would feel like I've
been talking for 40 long maybe I'll send this one off and hopefully pick up at some point or maybe I'll
just keep going which really um you get a bit further I'll go a bit further let's go a bit further so
yeah at 2011 2012 just fell down the rabbit oh and I went in hard you know I went from zero to
hundred pretty like within that first year I'd like done full gen two installs and you know actually
then X was like I've got really into gen two I was just listening some talk about it I just fell
down but I had all this time you know I wasn't wasn't able to work for the op and so I just fell
down the rabbit hole of 120 to 120 computers and really operating systems and yeah and yeah let's
let's hit the BST is actually because it was I went to an age to go to a lug in portsmith put
the plug the portsmith Linux user group and um I always remember I was one of my you know I
still need to all this stuff but I remember this and and you get very different like very
eclectic selection of people would turn up to those kind of things and but I remember there was the
guy that most of the person is just guy who turned up and he just he what he said I had no idea what
he's talking about like compilers and like the security of compilers and and he and he was I just
remember finding this chap that I didn't hear he was never seen him again but he was very impressive
you know he seemed like the smartest guy in the room and um I said I did not understand the word
what he was talking about but I wanted to know I mean I think in a way software you know this
the structure and interpretation of computer programming book which is like the Bible and it's known
as the wizard book and there there is something about something analogous or something um there
again it's like magic right it's like if you've ever if anyone has ever delved into esoterica
and uh looked into the occult and uh the practice of magic uh with a K it's like again a lot of
weird sort of um metaphorical overlap and it's sort of uh I don't know it's strange um anyway this guy
seemed like a sort of you know very advanced wizard and uh and he and he I remember sort of my
main game going oh look you know if you're interested in the stuff that he was talking about which
I don't know what he's talking about but please you know help me I'll be understanding you like
you need to look into open bsd and I was like okay and so it's sort of stuck in my head and I did
and that's kind of yeah I've sort of ended up being being very much more um interested in bsd family
both brain systems but that's kind of a whole rabbit hole um I think let's let's try and you know
I guess I guess you know half an hour is not too bad for podcos episode is it it feels very indulgent
talking about myself like this to be honestly I feel quite self conscious about the whole thing but um
no mind um whisper again next yeah so just got really into it got really into it
eventually my leg started to uh you know I just used to spend hours um
really compiling the system and gently and it was funny like it's easy to think and there was that
kind of trope of like you know just wasting time um yeah shaving and but I think it's it's three
for me I learned through tinkering I'm not I'm not a very good academic learner I sort of learned
by trial and error and I learned by playing and tinkering that's I think the best way for me to learn
you think uh and so I just did a shit ton of that already uh over the course about 10 or
half years and then my leg kind of got better you know I was on benefits during this period um like
welfare in America but um you know that was coming to an end because you know there's no reason
I mean not to go to a draw I definitely didn't want to go back to white van manning at this point
and so I decided to uh to enroll on a on a comp side degree to a comp side degree and um
and being a contrary motherfucker and of course as soon as I started trying to learn academically
around the stuff the whole thing just kind of I don't know but there was a lot of
things going on my life to be honest with you which is not really um which is a pretty
of topic for for this uh maybe one day or again into that stuff because I have listened to a few
HPR episodes where people talk about you know mental health and I think it's really important
and that sort of stuff uh so hopefully I'll maybe I'll do more of these this is really fun man this
is really fun but yeah I've had I've had struggles in that domain and between that and then
getting married, having a char, getting divorced, having to start a career and all this like
sort of getting a career and in the world you know I know I'm that's my job I'm a professional
software engineer which I hate out time I'd like to I like computer programmers my favorite way
of describing what I do I think you know just think to an episode of BSD now actually the other
day and the the chat was talking was saying like how he loves programming but he hates software engineering
and I totally understood what he meant um so yeah it's sort of my my passion went dormant
between as I say the degree the it actually re the degree kind of killed things for me a little bit
and there was a lot of other things going on my life which I won't get into but then it briefly
real woke woke up um when my ex wife got pregnant with her daughter and suddenly it was like
oh you need to get a job because I was just a sort of penina student at the time um living on
the student loans and all that jazz living in a in a warehouse um the room was a little bit
lonely windows uh so I said oh shit I need to get a job so I start is at a I got I got a like
temping job well I was essentially working as the under study to the under study the under study
to the to the intern who was this sort of eight I was like in my early 30s and I was working with
this 18 year old lovely beautiful boy called Bradley who he was he was so a lot such a lot of
such a lovely department actually it was very very like being in the IT crowd you know it was very
IT crowd ask if it's basement department and I just rocked up there expecting only to stay for
a couple of weeks and just to do you know help this this intern you know they just need it anyway
long in the short if it was it's like because I had accumulated all this knowledge programming and
systems and whatnot over the years even though it had been slightly um mangled by the by the
how in you know fucking fit my weird mind into the academic world sort of but not really
I you know but then I got there it's just a part of it was so funny because
like they're just were doing everything completely manually so I got there and like the first day
they were like okay he was like you're like what we need to do so dealing with like basically
I won't say the name of the big advertising conglomerate essentially like with million
different subsidiaries and all these users and we were down at the basement of this
place and give you a clue golden square and and you know when a user would leave
or change that they were basically what I'm trying to get to is they in order to back up machines
what they what this got chat Bradley would do was literally just like drag and drop in windows
he was teaching me he's like this is what he was what I took about teaching grammar to suck eggs
right at this point this is this is around what year we hear like about this is actually
yeah the year my daughter was born say 2018 should know that right um yeah so you know I've been
deep in the matrix by this point for for if you know you know I accumulate some skills right
I could write scripts and I was like what the fuck you don't you didn't know any power shelves
windows have gone in the bin in my first year I was like fuck that shit never going
about there again you know I I dabbled bit with I had a MacBook at one point and I quite like you
know it's like oh this is not this is a Unix great but also no fuck off Apple with all your proprietary
garbage um anyway and up in this department and I just start writing PowerShell scripts and
shell scripts and Python scripts for the because they were also it's advertising agency lots of creative
so lots of MacBooks you know so we had like a Mac department and a windows department and
but basically everything was being done manually there was one guy who'd written like an
onboarding PowerShell script that was like so insanely like it was you know and I become very
idealistic with was you know do one thing do it well you know you know I'd really take
and the Unix philosophy on board and this new starter script is guy who'd written and PowerShell
he was like a very much a windows guy you know and it was just like it was just a shoot I may
he laughed and I basically just started automating left writing center and they kept me on
age and it was such a great dream because I was supposed to be doing support right I was supposed
to I was I was on the support team like that so I was supposed to just be like a help desk guy
but I didn't I didn't do a single bit of help desk work all I did was sit in the corner just doing
whatever I wanted really which basically was like writing scripts but then I also started like making
my like making little get-up projects of this you know little help of functions and you know just
I think it was lovely I just got to like sit in the corner and they just left me alone because I
just every now and again I throw something useful over the wall and maybe like oh this is great you
you know saved a lot of loads of time and that was like back up back up scripts and automating the
how is it sort of the intuning of the Mac I can't remember loads of stuff I did there I really became
extremely productive and extremely interested again in programming and systems and because actually
what I was doing had a tangible effect in the world and was helping people and it felt fucking awesome
to do that actually but really really great and and then one thing left to another and I've
created all these you know silly little get-up projects with all my you know probably not great code
but it was you know it was working and then I managed basically just long as sort of it was I ended up
very quickly progressing from you know sort of you know in turn to the intern on the help desk
to you know doing DevOps you staff and then chain moving companies which yeah because they didn't
pay very well at this particular company so you know obviously my skills were worth much more so
sort of you know anyway nothing sort of was I ended up being um you know I'm now seeing
itself run generative very big very big company which is not really yeah anyway that whole process
of I ended up as start up got a quiet way of a company and it's been that's been a real challenge
and that and that whole process which took place over many years um fears at least um sort of
cause caused me to withdraw again and be like oh god you know and I sort of but then the reason I'm
kind of doing this absolutely actually we're nearly getting up to half an hour is I've kind of
come full circle and I had another big off on my leg because I have essentially severe arthritis in my
leg as a result and and often it's been what nearly yeah 15 years this year actually since that
I described at the beginning of episode and I've just recently had another even more insane up where
they broke my femur um because my leg was going wonky from all the arthritis they broke my femur
and realign my leg and have kind of bolstered it all back together again with like a set of sort
of 70s huge fucking nail-esque screws going all the way through with femur so and that's the other
thing I had kind of also got back into physical things as my knee got better over the last 10 years
got back in skateboarding back into BMX mountain biking, fixed gear riding bikes you know I love bikes
absolutely and Steve Jobs actually said the bicycle the computer is the bicycle of the mind so I
think it's no no constant that I'm you know and you know anyway I need to wrap this up because
we're approaching I don't know if I've set this half an hour limit pretty arbitrary but any who yeah
um oh god well was right um yes recently had this this major up and uh so obviously put the
cybersh on all my physical activities again and so what do I do of course fell back down the
rabbit hole of um programming and uh and this time fell back in love with BSD's I got really into BSD
as I mentioned earlier to the point that I actually ended up going to your BSD con I think back in
2000 and before I started my degree back in 2000 maybe it was the year I started my degree of 2014 potentially
might have been 2013 I'm not sure it was in uh oh god where was it it was it mulled sir it was the
one that was mulled sir I'm not sure what you know that was but it was it was very cool but yeah coming
into the industry and working industry obviously like it's you know unless you happen to be able
to work with BSD systems you know sort of mainly being on back on Linux and Mac OS and stuff for
the last few years for my sins but no you're having this time off and having the opportunity to
start playing again because I couldn't be out running my bike playing on that I just um yeah falling
back in love with it all actually ended up acquiring a bunch of old MacBooks through very strange circumstances
that I won't get into now um and then I must like you know what I don't want to put Linux on these
old MacBooks because um it just seems inappropriate given the lineage of Mac OS which I do actually
even though it's probably I do find Mac OS phenomenally interesting because it's such a hotge
potch of different systems and ideas and I'm really I just find I think I think the story of Apple
is also fascinating I wouldn't consider myself an Apple fanboy by any stretch of the imagination
I do you know but there is there is a sort of spirit in the history of Apple that is that is
I don't know it's sad it's sad actually because I was very when I first got interested told
I was taking a walk the walk the little bit of the technology I was very um I really you know the
hardware is beautiful and again it's this intersection of art and technology I think the Apple really
does epitomize and it's tremendously sad that that basically the defining influence on Mac on the
company was was a sort of you know very I hate to use the term but I think he probably was
exceptionally narcissistic kind of person Steve Jobs seems like sort of like the the bad Apple
dare I say and then he look at what's who's just like oh god what a beautiful human what amazing
stonishing lovely kind gentle soul if he if it is you know I mean like if if he could have driven
if it you know I mean like oh god how how things could be imagine imagine a universe in which we
have an Apple that was open what that would look like it would be so good you know it would be so good
and it's lovely to see companies like framework and that one out of one out of Germany's wonderful
mountain M&T reform oh god I've loved he's living the universe where they they you know I mean
but I think sadly anyway I don't know um where was I fuck me mean well back at the point
um that was from Linux Outlaws back in the day I used to listen to all the podcast back in the day
that's why it's uh it's it's very um it's really good to be doing this I really hope that I actually do
are you know um kick this over the line um I think I will but yeah anyway it should be wrapped up
awful awful awful awful uh no I don't know quite that yet what else do I want to say um yeah
I mean well back at the point no I don't know I don't know um
um boundary dwelling um boundary dwelling hmm no I think I'm running dry I think I'm running dry
I need to do some work I'm mainly doing this to procrastinate about some work if I don't really
want to do but I must because it does pay the bills um yeah speaking of which I have
recently for the first time actually started to contribute back and I guess that's the plan of what
this is about to because I want to start contributing back I've been given so much by the
source communities whether it's podcasts or and the software itself you know and I'm at a point
now where like you know I've been doing this for a while I'm not a move anymore um I'm certainly not
a very sophisticated programmer I'm you know I'm not I'm really not a very computer
computery person you know but I love it and I've learned a lot over the years and I really do want
to contribute back and so over this last few months when I've been I've had next time on my hands
I have started to um I've got back into learning about the lower level staff and and back into
trying to understand our project systems better which I did have the understanding at one point
and it's sort of actually quite a lot. Not as sure of that is like you know finally after many
many years sort of submitted some patches I got these that's that's where we were yes match the
MacBooks got these old MacBooks oh look at the BSD on these you know I never when I was into BSD
before I was always quite into the into Open BSD more than I was just because I really like
that they're the correctness side of things I loved how are idealistic they are I love how
how they just they don't pander to anyone they just do exactly what they want to do and if you
like it great if you don't yeah whatever I really like that mentality I think that's that's how we
don't that chap um the HHH with his new a Marchy thing I think I think he's really right about that
I think like you know you should just make stuff that you want don't you know this this
fucking Rick Ruben says this about art right don't make art for other people you make it for yourself
other people like it great do you know what I mean you gotta do it for yourself um so I love that
about your own BSD but this time around I've actually been more focused on free BSD just because
I'm not sure why I'm they're the BSD community scares me I'm completely honest with you
that's there's just seem so much smarter than I could ever possibly be and I just feel like
I don't know where I can really like contribute there because just just so far beyond my level of
understanding of operating systems and low-level programming where's free BSD seems like a lot more friendly
that seems a lot more friendly maybe I'm wrong I didn't know I didn't know I've been just
to hear people's thoughts but it just it just seems a bit more friendly welcoming that obviously
trying to pan the more you know to you know be more of a generalized OS compared to open BSD is
like you know for the developers for us by us right you know free B but I think I remember free B
but no free BSD's been great I've really enjoyed it and I've I've submitted a couple of very
minor patches to the to the kernel to to fix the function keys on on the old MacBooks
and also to add SMC support for my for the one out I've got so I've got a 17 inch
last 17 inch oh that's beautiful bit of hardware just adore a wish a wish I could somehow
shoot on a modern motherboard into it such a great form factor not enough anyway I'm whaffling I'm
whaffling I'll sign off there I can't see I can't stop I can't wait I don't know what
more I'll talk about hopefully I do more updates and talk about strange things I'd like to do
anyway hopefully someone enjoy this and got something from it and if not this and do another
updates or I don't go outside and get some vitamin D I don't know or just tinker because that's what
we like to do here hack it probably really a fun it really hard to end things but there we go
I keep calm carry on bye
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Unless otherwise stated, today's show is released under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) license.
