hpr-knowledge-base/hpr_transcripts/hpr3449.txt

Episode: 3449
Title: HPR3449: Linux Inlaws S01E41: The Halloween Documents
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr3449/hpr3449.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-24 23:42:22

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This is Hacker Public Radio Episode 34494 Thursday, 21 October 2021.
To its show is entitled, Linux in Los S0141, The Halloween Documents and is part of the series Linux
in Los It is hosted by Monocromic and is about 66 minutes long and carries an explicit flag.
The summary is The Halloween Documents.
This episode of HPR is brought to you by archive.org.
Support universal access to all knowledge by heading over to archive.org forward slash donate.
This is Linux in Los, a podcast on topics around free and open source software,
any associated contraband, communism, the revolution in general and whatever fence is your
article. Please note that this and other episodes may contain strong language, offensive
humor and other certainly not politically correct language you have been warned.
Our parents insisted on this disclaimer. Happy mom?
Thus, the content is not suitable for consumption in the workplace, especially when
played back in an open plan office or similar environments. Any minors under the age of 35 or
any pets including fluffy little killer bunnies, you trust the guide dog unless on speed
and QT rexes or other associated dinosaurs. This is season 1 episode 41 of something called
Linux in Los, the 2021 Halloween Special. Martin, good evening heartings.
Good evening Chris, things are interesting, say the least?
I see, it's Halloween, right? Almost. Is the Halloween already? Oh, damn.
Yes, it's it's the end of October.
No, it isn't. And what it is?
The end of September.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, when the episode with this episode will be aired, of course.
Okay, well, I can't tell you if things are interesting about the end of October.
This is this is down to the fact that you cannot bend time space because if you could,
you would be knowing that actually the end of October is always interesting because there's
something called Halloween, which goes back, I think, to an Irish patient festival.
It seems to me mainly celebrated, is that the word in in America, no?
Is it? I don't know. It is.
Hey, no, it wasn't that you would hope that originally it was invented by British postcard
by the factory. It's a great department of pictures to something.
No, but I think this one, America, it's like Coca-Cola invented the Christmas tree.
Okay. That's what I know what it is.
Yes, but why is Halloween important in an open-source context?
Any guesses?
Well, before we move on to that, how are you?
Well, do you have any pet, any pet, or you can send over?
Any beer? Any any any horridrivers?
Yes.
And see a change in career.
What is closure? We are recording this episode during the cause of the year 2021,
2022 and 2023.
Great Britain has what's what I'm up for?
Degenerated in a third more country worse than Namibia around the turn of the last century.
So I know that.
I think the Libyons is it.
No electricity.
I think we have to.
And much more to add, add these super market shelves.
And so are the shelves?
Yes.
Well, it's in Germany.
No, in Great Britain.
No, the cheaper market shelves are fine.
And not the way I see it.
I saw it the other day, because
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is why we have webcams inside stores.
And of course, webcams, you can compromise if you know what to do.
Yeah, you have too much free time on there.
So a friend of mine actually sent me some interesting pictures.
Because I do not compromise webcams.
It is to say it goes without saying, especially not in foreign market.
So that correlates with the exactly with the with the reports that I'm reading in various
media outlets that actually super market shelves are emptying with Britain and food supplies
are running low.
Yeah, it's fine.
When did you last go to a supermarket?
Well, we have stuff for that.
As in the Mrs.
does the shopping.
When did that Mrs.
buy what was it was able to buy anything in supermarket last month?
Then I spent the day actually.
And bought what matches?
No, it's what's sold out.
Possibly rolls a breadstick.
What else some sambal, some ketchup.
Probably something else as well.
And then the supermarket was clearly sold out.
That's why it was not there.
Anyway, I hear that too many.
It also has a shortage of lobby drivers.
I wouldn't know.
You wouldn't know.
You don't speak to lobby drivers.
Lorry drivers are species soon to be extinct because we use we use trains for this.
And there is other eco-friendly transport devices.
See.
Excellent.
Boats maybe.
So Martin, any plans for the UK to re-join Europe after putting some
sort of some serious mule on the table to make up for the expenses?
Well, I did consider taking a politics, but it sounded a bit too serious.
So probably not as the answer.
People you heard it here first.
Kids, there was a time when Great Britain was indeed great about 200 years ago.
Maybe 250, but now it's just this Britain.
As a matter of fact, there was a documentary in the 90s.
Actually, by that name, which actually gave a hint.
It's very amusing indeed.
It's well worth of watch.
Indeed.
I details with the show notes, of course.
Okay.
This is not a political podcast for you.
Could have fooled anyone, but indeed.
But we have much more serious issues to talk about.
Namely, the historical, what's going on before incident called the Halloween Papers?
Because it is now Halloween.
And for the few listeners who are probably too young to know the Halloween Papers,
referred to, when was it, late 90s, right?
Early 90s?
No, no, late 90s, then.
Late 90s.
When a company called Microsoft actually,
copied under the fact that it's proprietary business model, namely selling licenses
of close or software,
was seriously
in the process of being
eroded, it's probably the right word,
by something called the Linux operating system.
Or Richard, if you're listening,
they're going to lose them monopoly.
Or Richard, if you're listening,
the GNU is slash Linux operating system.
I just to squeeze that in.
Okay.
You want to give us an overview, Martin?
Or do you want me to do this?
Well, we can start.
So, yeah, why do they call the Halloween Papers?
Because they were leaked on the end of October.
They're not mistaken.
But yeah, they are so in short, Microsoft saw that.
Open source operating systems were on the rise and thought, hey,
I mean, this is not good for our bottom line.
So, let's do something about it.
And so, they wrote a variety of documents
that how to combat open source software, not mistaken.
Which at the time were marked as, I think, even classified,
or at least for internal use only, but somebody leaked them.
And a guy called Eric Raymond,
probably known as the author of something they call the cathedral and the Bazaar.
One of the probably more popular pieces of literature and open source
had a feel to it, taking them apart.
There are 10, they're actually 11 of them.
But it's probably worth noting that
the first couple of them reveal
or actually lift the veil of what was then, Microsoft,
as in a proprietary closed shop source software,
with the clear aim of not only maintaining the stronghold on the server,
on both the server and the desktop market,
but also expanding this.
So, these documents clearly laid out a marketing strategy
to ensure that by using something called FAT,
fear, uncertainty, and doubt that this monopoly was there to stay.
And we'll expand in the future.
And also reveal certain techniques for one of a better world,
how to combat open source.
For example, by...
What's the word I'm looking for?
Not instrumenting, but rather...
Coming up?
No.
It's drawing.
Yeah.
Manufacturing, yes, by manufacturing a total cost of ownership calculation,
that clearly said that Windows,
as in the proprietary administration, sorry,
the administration of this proprietary ecosystem,
is cheaper, including licenses on that,
never might manpower, than something called Linux.
And it's open source ecosystem.
Clearly, an interesting perspective, given the fact...
Go ahead, Martin.
Well, you could argue this case, as they did right now.
As we know, for example,
Linux Oreo takes many manhours.
If you are a corporate organization, what would you run?
Microsoft Teams, Zoom, or a big blue button,
or a number, or, you know, these kind of things?
So, this is the basis of their argument, right?
I think.
Indeed, but...
Going a little bit further, then just this wicked audio example.
No, I mean, proprietary...
It's close to our reach.
Yes, indeed.
But proprietary operating system, which is close source,
has this advantage, namely the fact that the open...
that the source code is not available.
So, this, in addition to the fact,
that the desktop was a stronghold of Windows,
and to some extent, it's a list.
Needless to say,
Windows systems were the prime target of virus developers.
Because the source code wasn't available,
virus developers, and I love you, and other worms are just an example,
had a field day of infiltrating desktop systems.
The thing is, because the source code wasn't available,
there was no antidote available immediately to remedy this.
Well, it's not a start, it's also that
being close source, the vulnerabilities weren't clearly visible,
apart from the people in Microsoft, right?
So, where's with an open source operating system,
and many people will be looking at the code for that exact reason?
Exactly.
The beautiful open source is basically,
everybody can take a look at the source code,
and take it apart, and put it back together again,
and come up with pull requests, ideas,
how to remedy the situation,
and that sort of thing, which is of course impossible,
if the source code is not available.
Plus, the prohibitive license cost of some close source systems,
Microsoft comes to mind, or came to mind,
rather, about 20 years ago, or more than 20 years ago,
when Microsoft's software was productive,
at least in the commercial environment,
where operating systems were only subsidized to some extent,
by the hardware manufacturers, who added, of course,
the Microsoft text in the vertical mass,
onto any hardware that the sold.
Laptops and desktops come to mind,
that hadn't implied,
Windows text slapped upon them once you bought them.
Yeah, I think nowadays it's less of an cost issue.
If you buy a piece of hardware, it tends to come with Windows,
unless it's an Apple, of course, but...
And if you specified option, don't have Windows,
what are you saving, right?
It's less than $100,
something on those lines, I think.
So the price difference has come down quite a lot,
so you can't...
Making the choice is less financially impactful,
than it used to be, as you mentioned.
Yeah, but this is 25 years ago.
Microsoft really perceived this as a threat,
because essentially,
about, oh, just over 20 years ago,
actually less than 20, around 20 years ago,
they acquired a stake in something called SCO Unix,
if that rings by Martin.
Yeah, there's something to do with IBM, you know?
Indeed.
Details, of course, will be in the show notes.
Suffice it to say,
SCO had then acquired to kind of love story short,
and don't quote me on the people, don't quote me on the details,
because it's a very long and tedious
legal work to, so to speak.
And as I said, details and references will be in the show notes,
to kind of very long story short,
SCO was once the proprietary...
the proprietor of the Unix trademark that they had acquired through various ways
and meals from AT&T through long history of acquisitions.
And we're then essentially trying to maintain the foothold or their foothold rather
on the server market of systems running on Runny Unix, right?
IBM had already identified the notes as the main alternative to their
then mainframe operating systems.
Some IBM staff had ported Linux to the series in 1997, 1998.
And IBM saw Linux as one of the strategic operating systems going forward
to maintain stronghold in the server business line.
Let's believe this way.
And SCO in dire need of money identified IBM as the main target for a lawsuit
to make some money.
Because they thought that for some reason Linux would contain the proprietary portions,
sorry, would contain portions of the proprietary Linux code.
And they are going back to the original Linux code and we are not talking about BSD here,
but rather we are talking about system 5 and system 7 as in proprietary AT&T code
where Unix originally came from. So they took IBM in front of
to court and claimed damages for set theft of intellectual property.
And Microsoft had nothing else to do with them to fund SCO for this lawsuit.
Eventually this lawsuit was wrapped up.
I think it's still a lingo because SCO went bankrupt in the meantime or the rest of it
as I said, details will be in the show notes. But to kind of long story short,
that was a futile attempt of course by Microsoft to again preempt Linux from the marketplace.
Now what is pretty interesting that around 20 years ago, some worker bees
in contrast to the official company mainline discovered actually that open sources of
wireless technology. This really was accelerated after the demise of Steve Barmer,
who's one set about 20 years ago, that links up pretty much compared with the cancer.
Because he couldn't make any money from it. And it would spread like this disease.
And eventually it would prove to be fatal.
But thank God before this could happen, he gave away the rain and somebody else called
the time of the last step in about six years ago, maybe seven years ago,
who clearly saw the advantages of open source. At that time, many, many, many people in
Microsoft had already come down to the fact that open source was there to stay.
And it's interesting because after satire took rain at Microsoft and already to some extent before,
Microsoft became one of the main contributors, maybe even close to Google or some other companies,
open the open source movement. For example, if you take a look at the kernel contributions
around 10 years ago, that was just before satire took rain, you would notice that actually,
Microsoft contributed a lot to the Linux kernel. In hindsight, of course, to power the Azure
platform, because the cloud was just going around growing Microsoft. But at the end of the day,
because the kernel is still GPLs, they had to convert any changes back to the code base.
This is basically how satire basically turned around the corporation as such.
Well, you say turn around, but they're not exactly the biggest cloud out there on the Azure.
Well, the fastest growing cloud, that's for sure. If the numbers are anything to go by,
well, yeah, if you start with one and double it, then you've got to double it.
But in absolute numbers, I don't think there.
Market share is, I think, as you're on GCP together on the same site,
either of yes or something.
But yeah, fair enough. And clearly, they have
realized, as you say, that open source has this beneficial for them as well.
I don't know if you remember the Microsoft Loves Linux campaign or whatever,
they initiative, they started a few years ago. They were certainly embracing many different
open source technologies, not just Linux, right?
So it left right in the center, yes. One of the core Python developers has a matter of fact
works for Microsoft. Gido, if you're listening, smart move, if you ask me, sorry,
yeah, for the few people in the audience who do not know this, Gido from Rossum,
who actually invented Python about 30 plus years ago, now works for Microsoft.
But even before that, one of the key developers for the reference
implementation called C Python was already working for Microsoft then. And Microsoft over the years
has contributed a lot to the open source code base. Yeah, it's also the projects, right?
Visual Studio code comes to mind. The open source major portions of ASP,
same goes for dot net, which is no known as I think monocore. GitHub of course comes to mind.
Which is partly based on open source. It is buying GitHub. Yeah, but I think there's two
contributed, some changes back. And eventually, they also open source some window, some,
believe it or not, some Windows components, which at the time were about 25 years old, or 20 years
or something. Not sure, there were lots of people taking up contributing to that.
And of course, for so inclined people, types, types group is from Microsoft,
goes without saying F sharp, including the reference compiler is from Microsoft,
PowerShell by the way, which has been ported to Linux is also from Microsoft,
and all the rest of it. So I'm that sure that at some stage, maybe Gido Satayah
had would have taken a look at the market capitalization of two companies alone. We're recording
this end of end of September. So about a month before it's released. And the market cap
of Microsoft is 2.21 trillion dollars. And the market cap of a company called Alphabet is
1.88 trillion dollars. So if Google would adopt more open source in terms of giving it back,
I'm sure that they could improve their market cap too. So yes, it ever turned around, but
so any any thoughts Martin where Microsoft is going?
Well, I think we've talked about before in terms of, I don't actually, I don't have
looked at their sources of income, but in terms of desktop operating systems, they clearly still
leaving that. For how long? That's a good question. That doesn't seem to be much,
I think as I said, we've discussed it before as a home user that is not that interested in
the ins and outs of a operating system that just wanted to work and been able to visit their
favorite websites of stick insects. Microsoft will do, right? So it's, I don't see that changing hugely
in terms of, you know, the, the desktop market, clearly the server side is as long on Linux.
No, it's interesting because you see more, more, more people even move into the cloud with
the desktops. If for example, the, the figures, the sales figures of something called Chromebooks
and anything to go by, because more and more people apparently are moving away from the,
from the digital, well, desktop systems, running Windows are not at and then moving to Chromebooks,
which are just hooked on the cloud environment, more likely than not provided by Google these days.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, the AWS have their virtual desktops as well.
Come on, we don't know if it workspaces or something, but yeah, many, many people will offer you
that kind of service, but that only has a certain amount of purpose, right? It's, if you're a,
occasional writing a letter or emailing kind of computer user, then that will do.
If you plan to do anything more than that, then clearly that's not some way forward.
Indeed, no. And you only need a pretty, pretty dumb device, because all you need is essentially
a, a GUI as an browser running on a minimal, minimalistic operating system. And that's
exactly what a Chromebook is. So if you're listening, Sataya surfaces are probably the way to go,
just get Azure in order so that you don't need a half an hour to deploy a virtual machine,
never mind other software components, but that's besides point. But I'm sure that somebody in
the Azure line of businesses are working on improving deployment times. I would have a couple of
ideas how to improve this, but so Microsoft, if you're listening, the email address is feedback at
Linux. It looks at the looks. You mentioned the sponsorship. Yes, Microsoft, Sataya, and if you're
listening and want to have a even more favorable appearance on one of the future shows, the address
is sponsored and it looks a lot to you. You heard it here first. And that concludes our short
episode on the Halloween papers. But before we go, we have some time, we have some final portion of
feedback, right? I believe so. I couldn't read the email since someone's email server was down
apparently, but why don't you visit that place? Yeah, I think Martin, as usual, if you fire IT
supports, there's nobody there to take a look at the server administration. So no surprises there.
Okay, it's not the fact that they decided to do enough great with it. No, not at all.
Not at all. Okay, Ryan posted a comment on the HVIA website on the 23rd of September.
And this is Clinton Roy. Just the usual complaint, Martin's volume is again still way too low.
It's a pita, which I think is a Greek brat or something. Sorry, it's pita, right?
Yes, whatever. Yes. To change the volume when speakers change. Now, I'm wondering what a Greek
brat has to do with the volume settings. Maybe a secret setting we don't know about.
Maybe, maybe Clinton Roy is just referring to a pain in the ass.
Yes. Of course, Roy or Clinton or whatever. Yeah, why didn't the Greeks call that?
Hey, I'm in the Greeks. Okay, let's not go there. Martin, let's not go there. No, no, yes, but okay, I'm not
to show if it's if it's Clinton or if it's Roy because I'm not to show what you're
first in it. Let's go, but it's all my Clinton for one offer better.
I guess there's of course a simple reason for this. Martin in his infinite wisdom decided to
have a close call Chris. No, decided to fire as he does with Martin departments or the rest of it
also post-production. Now, the trouble, of course, with good post-production with good post-production
cruises actually have to put you have to put them through a test. So Martin deviously
modulated his his his his smartphone volume all over the place. And for some reason,
the post-production crew simply didn't cop on to the fact that this was actually happening and
there were actually that this is part of the that this was part of the interview process.
Unfortunately, because Martin had never found it. Exactly, this is a Martin also had fired
quality issues subsequent to these post-production crews. What Martin also does for quite quite
frequently is also far the HR department. So it's just a mess. Yes, it stops us from hiring more
users. So people, if you're listening for the job and if you are on the Master Chief,
Master Christian side, the email address is HR at LinusinLost.eu.
If you're just longing for prolonged interviews, forget about Google with 12
funds of interviews. We Martin does about 24, but be prepared that this is only
temporary because you will be fired about two weeks. Martin actually holds I think the
fourth marketing department actually holds a record. I think it lost with four weeks of existence
before Martin before Martin fired the ones again. Very good. Very good.
But we have to do something about this. The investors are already complaining about hiring costs.
Yes, that's not good.
It's going on here. The people who payroll disjoint. They do? Yeah, they do. Why do I not know about this?
Because you just fired finance once again or accounts or whatever it's called these days.
Martin, if you wouldn't keep firing people, you would have the information that you need.
I wouldn't call it firing, but it's one I could suggest to them a different career mode.
I'm fed. It's missing? Fair enough.
Okay, people, if you look for a sales job, do not send me to HR at LinusinLost.eu.
Let me let me modify this email address first so that doesn't drop it.
It's a child waste of your time.
So it doesn't drop directly into Martin's inbox?
Well, I have no inbox since I see.
If you hadn't fired, Martin, you would still have many access.
But Martin, we do have initial feedback, don't we?
I believe we do. We have something from someone called Beacon.
Want to read it out? I don't know, I feel free.
Again, a wonderful podcast episode. Really enjoyed the interview with Ken Fallon on the history of HDR.
How about doing a little tutorial in your next podcast on Gitaire?
It will be wonderful. You guys from the UK, right?
I came across this unique campaign undergoing in UK, and of course the link
and that mail will be up in the show notes.
It's about a red dragon giving permanent, it's about a campaign for giving the
Red Welch Dragon a permanent penis. As I said, this has been the show notes.
And the most important thing is, of course, to remark, keep up the good work.
Do you conquer Martin? Should we keep up the good work?
I think you should keep up the good work. Perfect.
Any other thoughts on this?
I'm not on the specific campaign.
I mean, people, it was, it was okay to get to the camera.
Okay, yes, and there will of course be an episode next year.
As discussed on how to set up a version of how to set up a static,
static generator website with in connection with a version control system.
Like I mentioned this on the show, like we've done this for the local luck that I'm helping out with.
So stay tuned, all will be revealed in the, in the episode next year.
And if I start this correctly, HBR is or at least Ken Fallon is thinking along the same lines.
I also need to say if you have any thoughts on this campaign for the Welch Dragon to get a
permanent penis, please get in touch, the email versus feedback at linuxinlaws.eu.
And with that Martin, it's probably now a good idea to announce the Halloween episode of
3010 won.
Yes, Martin, but as usual, as it is the long-standing tradition with linuxinlaws, we do have a special sketch with.
Ah, yes.
I'll be proud of this cue cause. Excellent.
Yes, it's, no, no, no, yes, it's, I know, but if you wouldn't keep
firing your PAs, you wouldn't have to look up at the cue cause yourself. You'll see.
And without further ado, people, here is the Halloween episode sketch of 2021 from the
Dark Side and over to the Dark Side.
This is Captain Dark Side from the USS Space Festival and the surprise. How may I redirect your call?
This is Ladesa from the planet Transylvania.
Hi, on. I thought Transylvania was a galaxy and the planet was
tan-sexual. Are you sure your facts are okay?
Yes, I'm very positive about this.
So, no vaccinations for you then. You just sit down and wait.
World Health Organization, local governments, please do get in touch about sponsorship.
If you want to increase the amount of people get the jab, the mail addresses sponsor at linuxinlaws.eu.
After all, this is rapidly becoming the most popular open source,
never my lifestyle, podcast on the planet. If, in the key of every search engine here,
analytics are anything to go by.
I'm confused. Are people sent out a distress signal and we are looking for help?
Look, there's no time for any of these rocky horror pictures shown nonsense.
I've got work to, what? You said distress signal?
Yes, our people are in dire need of supplies, especially food is running out rapidly
after the recent change in the local executive.
So, how can we be of assistance?
We need about 10 tons of blood within the next 24 hours so that my people can avoid starvation to that.
Blood? What do we blood? Normally species live on simple things,
like complex carbohydrates, sugar, alcohol, maybe the odd dash of cannabis,
or similar recreational drugs, you know, to build spaceships,
manage bending of time and space, after sport drives proved to be the sub-optimal efficiency,
of course, and generally having a good time.
I'm afraid that people are somewhat different in that regard.
Perhaps you can send us the Federation's nutritional code so that our science officer
can get you what you need. It should be part of Form 42-Smash 0-815-666
of your Federation membership's welcome package.
This is Smok, the USS and the surprise science officer.
The Federation of Planets is an intergalactic group of planets and people ensuring peace
and well-being across the galaxy. The nutritional code is an essential guide to the feeding
and thus well-being of species across the universe. We do observe susceptibility.
Are you mocking me, Mr. Mock? I always want this food for our people so that they can survive.
I'm afraid it is not that simple. As you don't seem to be a member of the Federation
according to my records, let's start with the analysis of the physical composition of your bodies.
Please send a cross example of your genetic structure so that we can compose a sustainable nutrition
that exactly fits your needs. And how do we do this?
Normally, a sample of bodily fluids is sufficient, perhaps accompanied by an issue's
sample of something similar. Don't make it overly complicated, Mock. Just piss in a cup or
drain a vein and send the stuff across so we can get you the stuff you want.
Drain a vein? Are you mad?
Exactly this food is in a really short supply.
Not sure that I completely follow. Your main source of nutrition is a mixture of plasma and blood
cells. In that case, I recommend just a square inch of your upper epidermis, which should be a good
enough basis for this analysis. Best extracted in full daylight to ensure proper metabolism
example of structure.
Oh no, crap. Not again, Ahora. Reestablished communication as soon as possible.
Sir, may I remind you of the fact that today is Christopher Street Day,
according to the Federation calendar and all members of the LGBTQ community,
of which Officer Ahora is an outstanding member, if I may say so.
Myself are entitled to a day of leave to commemorate this event.
LGTBQB. Mock, what are you on about?
As I'm sure you're aware of LGBTQ refers to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer
community, a subset of society that does not subscribe to the traditional binary gender patterns
and thus deserve our full respect not only in that regard.
And why are you working then?
Captain?
Never mind. Why were we disconnected?
It seems that our Zoom subscription just experienced a glitch to use the technical term,
a termination of set subscription to be precise.
Then try something else. What about teams?
May I remind you of the fact that Lieutenant Commander Scott cancelled our
two subscriptions in a fit of rage, starting that no fricking close-source communication junk
ever will be ever used on this joke of a ship to which you concurred righty already.
Intoxicating substances may have been involved at the time, Captain.
Ah yes, I do seem to recall now. What are our options then?
Go to the meeting, WebEx, even Google Meet?
According to the ship's logs, you stated that from now on, only open-source communication tools
will be used at least on my watch. Approximately 20.75 seconds after the prior response
to Lieutenant Commander Scott's statement, which leaves us with a choice of big blue button,
jizimit and open meetings or similar open-source tools.
We're doomed indeed, as Starfleet's record's running to go by.
So Mock, what is the status with any of these tools? Are they in a shape to be used?
Our quantum-based AI has spent the equivalent of approximately 10.2302202 million years
in the deterministic time on trying to configure jizimit for production deployment without success.
Unfortunately, similar metrics have to be applied to big blue button,
although the artificial intelligence is confident that with another 1.02 million years of
de-time equivalent, it may arrive at a solution which is ready for prime time, if I may say so.
And I'm afraid that the situation with open meetings is even more sub-optimal
if the community efforts across the fleet of approximately 10.2302 star vessels
of the end-of-surprise class are of any relevance, which leaves us with only one option.
You cannot be serious. Mumble, really?
I'm afraid so, but given the fact that this can be used in subspace as well,
we have a chance to establish a reliable communication channel with Transylvania.
With the probability of approximately 45%, if my calculations are correct.
So you're really saying it's hidden, miss? Oh well, just give it a try then.
Please go ahead, Mock, and let's see what you can do.
This is the Federation Starship end-of-surprise, calling the plan of Transylvania to re-establish
communication. Okay, Mock, this is no use. Have you double-checked sampling rate,
bitrate, quantum modulation and all that other crap?
Captain, as I'm sure you are aware, the negotiation of these parameters are part of the
protocol handshake of the communication setup while establishing the channel.
But another thought just crossed my mind. Are you still wearing the implant?
What implant? The one you obtained on Star 9 in the beta-goose system,
supposedly enhancing your performance with the, and I quote,
female type of any species across the galaxy. At least, that is the explanation you gave me when
I inquired about an unusual source of radiation emanating from the quarters right after you had
acquired it. Yes, I do remember it now, Ish. But what does that continue with this?
As my cursory analysis of the power source of said device revealed,
it is powered by a small nuclear reactor whose specifications are significantly outside
the federation standard with the potential of causing all types of interference,
including the subspace mumble signal. Do you think there might be the remote possibility
of you disabling the device temporarily, of course?
Yeah, I suppose so. Let me check. Yes, that seems to be an option.
Done. Yes, according to the ship's readings, the source of radiation has disappeared.
Trying once again. This is the federation's startup and a surprise calling the
plant-crenned surveyor to reestablish communication.
And the surprise? Are you still there?
But that's a, is that you? Sorry, we seem to have been cut off due to technical difficulties.
You were explaining about your main source of nutrition before the communication broke down,
if I recall correctly. Yes, yes. We need about 10 tons of blood if we want to sustain our people.
Not sure we have that many donors aboard. Never mind blood samples stashed in sick bay.
But I'm not talking about a few millimeters from samples. We need about 10,000 liters right now.
Why? You don't have that many endemic among your people?
I don't really do. Blood is our main source of nutrition.
Blood is what? Perhaps I can be of assistance, Captain. Transylvania is actually
according to ancient lore, a part of what was then Eastern Europe on your home planet on
Earth, if I'm not completely mistaken. There was, in ancient times, a legend of a species known
as vampires, which solely survived on drinking human blood. This disease, as it was then known,
as it contaminated the victims of these vampires also to become one of that species,
quickly spread around that part of the continent until they mysteriously vanished about a thousand
years after the initial occurrence of the disease, from the surface of the planet after which
the legend became part of common lore. People then thought that improved in medical technology
and synthetic arland to be a common vampire repellent to believe at the time and prolonged sunlight
exposure due to phenomenon known as global overheating made them eventually disappear.
But it may have been the case that similar to now nutrition resources were running low and the
vampire has decided to leave the planet for some other of more vampire-friendly habitats.
That is it, so all you need is a vast amount of blood.
Unfortunately, blood alone will not be sufficient, we prefer the blood in a packaging known as humans.
Only this rapper will deliver a true consumer experience which my people try more.
As usual, the first bite is with the eye, quite literally in this case.
Hmm, so you actually need people to extract their blood from?
Indeed, but look at the bright side. All donations will receive eternal life,
excellent medical cover as they can't get ill anyway unless bitten by a werewolf.
But we made sure that this competitive species became extinct right after our arrival in this planet
and under benefits right after their conversion.
This will not.
What is it now, Mock?
There are quite a few options that come to mind for satisfying this request, Captain.
Would it all?
For one, there's the planet populated by QAnon after left Earth.
What's QAnon?
If Federation archives are a leveled source of truth, QAnon were a group of human reptiloids
which were behind one of the major conspiracy theories,
trying to explain the origins of a pandemic disease known as corona,
that held a stronghold on almost all countries in the first part of the 21st century on Earth.
A diseased name now, Turbia.
Have you been smoking one of your Vulcan recreational substances once again, Mock?
Quite on the contrary, Captain.
Corona was a highly infectious disease, affecting significant portions of the country's population
across the planet with an associated death toll attached to this disease.
And where did this disease come from?
Theories range from improper food handling on the local market in a country known
than as China, right up to a seriously misconfigured genetic experiment,
when a few insufficiently trained scientists tried the hand at interspecies breeding
and made the wrong decisions at the wrong time on a molecular level, resulting in a virus
capable of migrating between species instead of a highly optimized bad milk production,
which was then the original motivation behind the experiment in the first place.
As the milk of female bats was considered to be quite a culinary delicacy in said country at the time.
But my favorite theory, if I may say so, is a warp-draft experiment ahead of its time and its consequences.
What do you mean?
There is a school of thought suggesting that sea from Cochrane was not the original
inventor of the warp drive when he performed this apparent first warp jump in 2063
when the Vulcans, who had been observing Earth for quite some time, noticed the trail
and established intergalactic communication, which eventually led to the federation of planets
as we know it today. Instead, the warp drive was first discovered on Earth by a female member
of your species, known as Angela Merkel, who used to be a political leader of a country and
central Europe known as Germany. After the decline of a political career in the early 20s of the 21st
century, being a trained physicist, she decided once again to dedicate her life to physics, thus
creating an initial version of the warp drive. Unfortunately, this version was highly flawed,
creating a temporary wormhole through which a harmless flu virus managed to travel into parallel
universe, where it met a class of trans-dimensional beings, not unlike the terminator type robots
of Earth's 20th century amardad, which found it highly humorous to slightly modify some of its
spike proteins just for effect. Fortunately, this created the type of crowd intelligence among the
viruses, which eventually managed to escape back through the wormhole where it came from. Unfortunately,
this process changed once again some of its surface proteins, resulting in somewhat deadly virus,
named after the shape of its surface proteins. But Merkel's setup was so flawed that it also caused
to send the virus back to 2013 when she was still in power as Germany's chancellor at.
In essence, she had to deal with the consequences of an event which only took place in the future,
a very interesting aspect of time travel, if I may add. Enough of this gibberish mock.
What test this got to do with the test's food problem? As part of the resulting pandemic,
quite a few groups formed trying to explain the origins of this pandemic futile attempts,
of course, due to lack of underlying facts at the time. One of these groups called QAnon,
believed that the earth was ruled by a shadow cabinet of satanic, the zero equivalent of a binary
divine system preventing at the time of earth, pedophiles, aimed at maintaining this world order
and causing a massive planet-wide cover-up in the shape of set pandemic to deflect the tension
from their wrongdoings. One positive side effect Merkel's quantum debacle was a parallel minor wormhole
which opened a conduit into a media outlet, a scientific content distribution network to be
precise, in the year 2002, focusing on earth's history in the 20th century and 21st century.
Curiously, they had just finished a feature on reptiloids and came to the conclusion that
reptiloids rather than ruling the planet as a shadow cabinet had in fact undermined QAnon
using these conspiracy theories to confuse the masses. By sheer coincidence, this story was
adopted by a reporter of a major news outlet and quickly spread around something called social media,
a phenomenon where on earth where people could share information independent of its quality almost
instantly. Thus forcing the reptiloids to leave the planet nearly instantly and the rest of
three to quote an ancient earth proverb, which proves of course that history not only
repeats itself but actually can be a head of its time. Facilitated of course by bending of time
as it takes place in one house. QAnon's members then found a new home on the planet in the
nearby star system which then still populate according to Federation's archives. I am confident
that with some minor genetic engineering removing the reptilian strains, we can turn these into
proper food source for Vladessa and her people. Are you quite mad, Mock? We are not going to sacrifice
any human life forms on my watch, reptiloids or not. Okay, but what about even lower life forms
captain dark side? Like other conspiracy theories or even what's the word just one second captain?
QAnon's members then found a new home on the planet in the nearby star system.
Oh yes, or even politician? Sorry, no dice. The only option we can offer you is synthetically produced
blood from our replicators. But where's the blood? That sounds like soy burgers. We want the real
thing and no substitutes. QAnon's members then found a new home on the planet in the nearby star system.
Well, the deal soy or starvation you call. And this was the foundation of Transylvania's
transformation from a bloodlusting people, only accepting the purest human life forms, politicians
or not, as their main source of nutrition to one of the most peace-loving vegan races in the galaxy.
Eventually surviving solely on a diet of organically produced soy milk, a bait of calm and color
for effect, which eventually traveled back in history, another side effect of Merkel's
futile dabbling in transport traveling to Earth's early 1900th century to form a party in an
abandoned English colony, originally named after some Italian explorer, called Amerigo Vespucci.
This party was later to become the Democrats, a political denomination striving for almost
communist ideals, including free speech, software and love. But that's surely a story for
another episode of your favorite pecs of art show.
All right, all right, all right, OK. Picks. Yes.
All your boxes. Yes, boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Boxes. Yes, picks of the weeks.
Yes, picks of the week. Yes.
Leads. Any picks? Any pockets? I do have one. I just need to find the name again, because
well, I forgot it. Why don't you go with yours first?
I was just trying to make one up when you...
Illuded. Illuded?
Well, polluted? Whatever.
Diverted? Digressed?
Yeah, no. So, OK, I can tell you. I can't tell you the name of the movie until I look it up, but
this is a movie about a organization who builds, let's say, a military robots and they send them
on a... What I think is a test mission to a South American country, which has then been overtaken
by some government agency to use them to remove some drug cartels in the local
area. This is quite interesting, but clearly the good guys are in at the end, and they destroy
all the robots, but the name is... The name? Of the movie. Ah, yes, that's to be confirmed.
I forgot the name of the book. OK. I'm sure that Martin will remember that at some stage.
Which... Medication or not?
Yes.
Yes.
They'll come to me. They'll come to me.
And the details may be in the show notes.
Maybe not.
Yes, yes, they may be.
My pox of the week is a TV series called The Breeders, or Breeders simply without the article.
It's about...
Oh, I don't even know how many. Monsters of man.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
It's a TV show called Breeders.
It's about an English couple living in London for fun enough, and it describes the challenges
of bringing up little kids, and despite the circumstances, it tends to be quite funny.
Let's put it this way.
The term trials and tribulations come to mind.
OK.
And where does one find this?
I'm sure that YouTube and streaming services are like Netflix.
I think it depends on Netflix first or something, or Amazon Prime, I can't remember.
But I'm sure you'll find it somewhere in a media outlet of your choice.
The IMDB link will be in the show notes.
Excellent.
And with that, we are done for the Halloween episode of 2021.
Time flies, doesn't it?
We are now more than one and a half years in existence, Martin.
This morning, yeah.
We'll do in our second news episode soon.
Very soon, yes.
At the end of the year, yes.
Yeah, well, that's not far right now.
If we're still around, it's over in the months.
Yes, because Martin, as we, as I just explained, Martin keeps firing staff.
So at the end of the day, we just
we may run out of energy by then, so we may not be here.
So, so it's a power to power any of us.
So at the end of the day, we, Jim, we may be just down to two people,
like we were in the beginning running this podcast.
You never know.
Yes, excellent.
And no, Martin, not.
Oh, no.
You sure?
Positive.
Well, how many some better people next time then?
Well, I'll be good.
The first part of call is actually too high to re-higher HR department once again.
Unless you want to do the hiring all by yourself.
As in everything.
Well, it can't be any worse, right?
Yes.
People, if you're implying, we should not do not ask, do not ask about the
Trishner.
Just don't do it.
Forget about it.
Okay.
Okay.
No, said enough.
Before the law is get back, I'll get back onto us.
Okay.
That has been more than wonderful.
As always, as usual, exactly.
And with that, goodbye and see you soon.
This is The Linux Enloss.
You come for the knowledge.
But stay for the madness.
Thank you for listening.
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So I'm on firefox at least. Firefox, choice. I'm on edge at the moment.
Wow. Brave. No, brave. Brave is a different browser, Martin, don't worry.
Because I kind of, I thought I heard of my own echo, but no problem. This is Martin's gear.
Also known as CRAP. Custom, custom research and the allocation pool, I think it stands for.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
By the way, have you watched any of his original Star Trek episodes as preparation for this episode, Martin?
Oh, yes, many years ago. Okay. That answers the next question.
And you know that that Kirk has a certain verif to his voice.
Wow, it's not called Kirk, because he's called DS.
Ah, Martin, please.
Is this an option dark side?
Kirk, let me remind myself.
Oh, no, not again. Oh, Hora, please reestablish communication as soon as possible.
You may want to do this again.
And all members of the LB shit.
I can't see it now.
Which Sully survived on drinking?
Sully.
Sorry.
There was in ancient times a legend of a species known as Vampires, which Sully survived on drinking
Sully survived.
No, Martin, I need to keep going.
Sully, Sully?
Okay, well, it's okay. Sully, Sully, okay.
This will not...
May I interrupt Captain?
Okay.
What is it now?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh, oh, by the Empire, Mark, you may interrupt.
Okay, I was waiting for you. There was too much of a pause.
Okay, let's do that again.
Yeah, let's start with this one now.
As the milk of female bats was considered to be a culinary disease in said country at the time.
No, I can't write.
That's right, that's me.
Okay, let me do this once again.
Listen to the voices.
Linnos, innos, innos, innos, innos, innos, innos, innos.
Preferably ours.
Happy Halloween!
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