hpr-knowledge-base/hpr_transcripts/hpr4083.txt

Episode: 4083
Title: HPR4083: Drivecast: Man-talk.
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr4083/hpr4083.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-25 19:21:37

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This is Hacker Public Radio episode 4,083 for Wednesday, the 27th of March 2024.
Today's show is entitled, Drive Cast Man Talk.
It is hosted by some guy on the internet and is about 9 minutes long.
It carries an explicit flag.
The summary is, Scotty discusses men's issues while driving.
You are listening to a show from the Reserve Q.
We are airing it now because we had free slots that were not filled.
This is a community project that needs listeners to contribute shows in order to survive.
Please consider recording a show for Hacker Public Radio.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Hacker Public Radio, I'm your host, some guy on
the internet.
I like to start off with a little bit of a warning.
This episode may not be suitable for all listeners.
With that said, let's begin.
Now today's topic concerns men, men of all ages, and it's a simple one.
But I do believe their parents should have the option as to whether or not their children
should hear this episode or not.
So pause now, alright I assume that you've made that decision and we can carry forward.
I don't know about you, but as a man, I really don't like to see anything, anything resembling
moisture around the toilet seat in the restaurant.
You would think that mostly young men have this problem and most people assume that you're
having trouble seeing, you know, maybe you can't aim properly, that kind of thing.
And we've all seen it, there could be multiple issues, I've seen issues where it actually
wasn't the men causing the moisture pooling around the toilet.
It was that the toilet was flush and so, so hard, like it was splashing water out.
And of course, sometimes there's leaks or condensation, you know, condensation can build up
on the reservoir and drip down onto the floor, causing a pool around the toilet as well.
But excluding all of those I'm talking about for men that usually end up missing the
bowl or, you know, their target and hitting the floor or outside of the bowl, I'm going
to offer a little bit of advice.
Now first thing first, you don't want to wait until you're desperate to relieve yourself.
As a driver, a lot of times when I'm on the road, there may not be the option to just
stop at the nearest place and you know, you know, 53 foot vehicle, a lot of times those
options don't exist for you.
So you really have to plan your day.
And one of the things that I end up doing is every time I'm near a facility, a restroom,
I use it.
Rather, I think I have to or not, I go in there.
One of the first things I do when I walk into any establishment, any building, is I go
look for the restroom, immediately.
It's the first thing I want to tackle because when I'm done here and I have to leave this
place, you know, I got a job to do, whether I'm at work or not, like rather I'm just in
my personal vehicle or in the rig, whatever, I go look for the restroom whenever I hop
out the vehicle, I take care of that first.
Because once that's out the way, that means there's less of a chance I'm going to get desperate
to do that when I'm on the road.
Sometimes you can just stuck in traffic and be out there all day long, you know what I mean?
Desperation will build up on you.
Once you make sure that you're not going to end up desperate to go, that you're going
whenever the opportunity presents itself, that's one way of making sure you don't end up,
you know, in that panic mode, rushing to get in there and then, you know, now you're
acting without thinking, you know what I mean.
So another tip, when you go in there, now this is, if you're at a Sentinel, I think it's
a little harder for you to miss at the Sentinel.
And what I mean by depending on where you're from, the Sentinel is the standing toilet,
right?
You're standing up facing it and it is very wide and has like, I guess, walls making
it very difficult for you to miss.
So excluding that, I'm talking about a traditional toilet bowl.
Grab yourself one sheet of toilet paper.
Now, after you got that one sheet of toilet paper, go ahead and position yourself in front
of the toilet and before you cut loose, take that toilet paper and first use it to rub
the urethra, like you're clearing away anything that may be there.
Now you don't have to use it like you're scouring a potter or anything now, you just quickly
remove anything that may be there.
And then here's the next step once you use the paper to remove everything, hold onto
the paper now.
Don't just toss it away, using your index finger and thumb.
I want you to imagine holding a cigar in between your index finger and thumb and then rolling
the cigar back and forth in between the index finger and thumb as though you're loosening
up the tobacco in the cigar, you're going to perform that action with the head of the
penis.
A little bit closer towards the urethra, the opening.
This technique is going to help loosen up anything that may be blocking the opening.
So you first wiped it away with the toilet paper, then you rolled to help loosen anything
else up.
You can give it one more quick wipe if you want, but if not, I want you to imagine when
you're at the sink, right?
And you turn the faucet handle or lift it, whatever design handle you have at the faucet,
you turn the faucet on and then off really quickly so that a very short jet of water exits
the faucet.
I want you to imagine doing that, but with your bladder, using the muscles that control
your bladder.
Just allow a short jet of urine to pass through.
And what that's going to tell you is, rather than not, you clear the urethra or not.
Because if you haven't, well, there's much less to clean up.
Now that you know that you haven't fully cleared the opening, but if you have cleared
it, you can go ahead and cut loose and finish the job and don't shake at the end.
That's why you held on to the rest of that toilet paper.
When you're done, you use the paper to dry up.
All you do is just place it at the opening, you're not packing it in or anything silly.
Don't be crazy here, but you're just placing it there at the opening and the remainder
will soak into the paper.
You toss it in the bowl.
If you did make a mess, now's the time for you to clean it up.
Now, you can close the seat, you know, put the lid down and everything flush and head toward
the sink and clean yourself up and head out.
Now, the reason you may have to go through these steps, just in case you're wondering.
If you're a young man, especially, and the reason I said a young man is because there's
a good chance with those hormones of yours, you're probably getting a heart on every time
the wind blows.
And the body naturally produces secretions.
These secretions, as they make their way through, may, you know, when they get to the opening
of the penis, they'll dry, causing a partial blockage.
So if you don't clean it, you know, wipe it up.
Well, that partial blockage, when you go to urinate, it's going to be like when you've
got the garden hose and you put your thumb on the end of the garden hose and then the
water sprays in every direction, yeah, that's, well, there you go, that's what you're doing.
So you want to go ahead and clear that up before you cut loose.
And the same thing is especially true if you're a mature male or an adult male, whatever
you want to call it, and you have recently engaged in sexual intercourse or any activity
where you have ejaculated.
This is another secretion that you're going to be dealing with.
Again, when you head in front of the toilet, follow those steps, you'll remove the blockage
and then you can cut loose without wetting up all over the place.
So now that you better understand the situation, it's not just a matter of the person not being
able to see and missing the toilet.
It's just that nobody really explained that there's a process.
And if you don't know that there is a process, well, you know, it's a good chance you
could have negative results.
So respect the process.
Stop giving everybody a hard time whenever this kind of thing happens, I want you to think
about it.
Just because you're a human being and you have a body does not mean you fully understand
your body.
This is true with everyone, man and women.
Just in this topic, we're dealing with, as I've heard it said, penis owners.
Alright, I think that's about it.
You guys have a good one, catch you in the next episode.
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