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hpr_transcripts/hpr1006.txt

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+Episode: 1006
+Title: HPR1006: More Experiences Out of a Mental Hospital
+Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1006/hpr1006.mp3
+Transcribed: 2025-10-17 17:15:02
+
+---
+
+Hello everyone, my name is Sikplop and you are
+listening to Miscellaneous Radio Theater 4,096. The episode is also about experiences
+in a mental hospital. I got so much feedback from people with that first episode. Thank you,
+thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It's time to continue. Talk about my post-care,
+like what happens if you go into a mental hospital and whatnot. I'll start by shaking my pills.
+This is, that's an antidepressant. That's an anti-psychotic. Let's see here, if we go over here.
+Another anti-psychotic, this I take 9 pills a day, so we're ridiculous about the pills in that one.
+This is treated side effect. This is treated the same side effect I have. I take my second
+anti-psychotic as needed. I take my first one as needed and I have the same drug for the
+side effects. This is another antidepressant. So those are my pills. But that's enough of that,
+let's take a trip. Let's go on a bus downtown. Last time I talked to you guys, I was just out of the
+hospital in the hospital two more times and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia disorder,
+which is the combination of schizophrenia and mood disorder. So I have schizophrenia,
+I have a body of hallucinations, hair voices, I have delusions, although the delusions I have now,
+I probably don't know I have. Delusions I had, I knew I had, or rather I knew I have. That makes
+any sense. We're going to be exploring one aspect of this, one aspect of my life,
+the treatment. And so let's get off the bus.
+Here we are during very few riverside, this is the hospital, it comes to three times a week.
+It's like about mepeanins and whatnot.
+Let's see here.
+But the maze it is, behavioral emergency center, this is where I am, this is where I've been coming for four months.
+Hello, I'm here with Mike and I'm going to ask Mike, we're back at WART World Radio 98.7 on your FM dial.
+We're talking to Mike. The question for that we all have in our minds is Mike, when do you think
+when do you think I identifying with a mental illness becomes too much? When do you think it's
+beyond your person coping with a mental illness to the point where it's here's someone who's
+invested way too much in having mental illness?
+The problem with me is I don't have that point of when enough is enough because I can always
+not, I can always improve myself no matter what and I'm trying to work on myself to be able to
+be in society and have a stable mental pattern. So I'm not yelling at people who are kind of vicious
+because we all know we have people out there that are like that at our jobs so.
+Yeah, so you're working on just coping and it sounds like?
+Basically, I've been going through depression for 12 years and I've been trying to pull out of it
+and I'm finally pointing out of it so now I'm trying to get to the point where I can be out of it
+and stay stable and happy and be nice. What do you, what you're out of depression,
+what do you think of yourself as someone with depression? Do you think you'll think of yourself
+differently? I will definitely think of myself differently because now I know how to beat it
+and my strength lies in what I've done and beating this depression I will be going to
+and places unknown and very fun things are going to happen in my life. Thank you.
+All right, that's enough for today.
+Okay, okay, okay, okay, that's enough of that. I'm not going to shove a microphone to people's
+faces and especially when they're patients, I think it's kind of rude. So that's the extent of the
+interviews. That's the extent of the interviews for this episode. I was from day treatment
+which is something I go to three times a week. Just talk about your feelings,
+sort of group therapy, sort of thing mixed in with the occupational therapy, which is it's fun,
+keeps me doing something that makes sense. It gives structure to my life. So I think that
+the structure has a lot to do with it. There are then there people I can talk to there
+and in one hand. So yeah, that was from day treatment. And since there are no interviews,
+the last interview question will be presented to me and the question is what it's like,
+what is it like having schizophrenia? Well, it sucks quite frankly. It's a disorder. I have
+schizophrenia, which is a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder and it's chronic,
+having a last year entire life. And I've had one episode of one psychotic episode and I'm bound to
+have another. What will happen during another episode? I have no idea. But yeah, kind of stinks.
+I'm applying for disability, which is good. I'm applying for general assistance, which is good.
+Which I hear you can get both of those things with schizophrenia. Disorder, since it is kind of a
+life-changing thing. Let's see here. What are delusions like? I don't know. I don't know what to tell you
+about delusions. You don't really know you have them. Tell you, someone has told you that they're
+delusional or you've thought about it for a good long time and come to being delusional. But
+yeah, it all makes sense. Except for one little thing. And that one little thing that doesn't make
+sense is often what brings me to think it's delusional, what I'm thinking. Like I had the delusion,
+for instance, that people were following me. There's an abandoned house next to where I helped my
+friend and her girlfriend move in together. There's an abandoned house, and I was convinced that
+they're people squatting in it, watching me and following me. And I thought about this for a while,
+and why does it have to do with me question, which is unresolved, which can't be resolved,
+because it's delusional. That's why, because it's completely delusional, has nothing to do with you.
+And that takes a while. That takes a while to realize. And sometimes that takes someone else telling you.
+So I guess that's what a delusional thought is like. What hearing voices are like?
+I hear it's different for everyone. For me, it's when people talk. I can hear them insult me,
+call me names while they're talking, but they're not saying that. It's just in my head, but it sounds
+like they're saying it. So it's kind of an assisted voice of that makes sense. It's assisted by the
+audio of someone's voice being there. And I just interpret their sounds as a distinct external voice,
+telling me bad things, which is not very fun. The first hallucination I had was the smell of bleach,
+which I smelled when I was in the hospital. I couldn't get it out. It made me sick too. I didn't
+want to eat anything bloody bleach smell everywhere. And yeah, that was my first hallucination.
+Let's see here. Yeah, that's it. I think that's all I have to say about the subject. Thanks for
+listening, everyone, and take care and enjoy your days. Bye-bye.
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