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Episode: 1198
Title: HPR1198: THEATER OF THE IMAGINATION: 05
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1198/hpr1198.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-17 21:28:33
---
you
Hello, this is Lost in Bronx, and this is Theater of the Imagination, Part 5.
I know, I know, it's been a long time since my last installment, but I'm here now, so
quit your crabbing.
If you're new to this series on HPR, basically this is my take on dramatic audio media in various
forms past and present, upon my own exploration of this art form, and most importantly, how
and why you might want to explore it yourself.
This series is not exhaustive, it's not encyclopedic, these are just my opinions.
I'm a writer, actor, and producer of dramatic audio, so naturally I have some specific views
on the topic, and this is what I cover.
You can find out all the facts you'll ever want without my help.
Just do a web search for old-time radio, or audio drama, or audio theater.
The term has been gaining some traction lately, you'll get more information than you
could digest in a lifetime.
So anyway, there is a bit of a format to this show.
First off, I talk about my equipment, and how I'm using it.
Last time I covered my microphone.
This time, I want to go over the external USB sound card that I have.
It's a cheap little thing called a FastTrack USB by the brand M Audio, who make a wide range
of products.
This particular device is discontinued, but you can still find them on eBay and such,
and if someone is asking more than 15 or 20 bucks US for it, they're shafting you.
Brand new, it cost me 40, and that's when they were still making them.
There'll be a link in the show notes for details on this exact model, in case you really
want to know about it, but there are new products out by M Audio to apparently replace it.
For instance, the M Audio FastTrack USB 2.
That's right, don't be confused.
It's the new, improved, much more expensive one.
It's probably better.
The price tag promises that much.
Well, that's not what I have, and for the purpose of this series, when I refer to the
FastTrack in this episode or any others, I'm talking specifically about mine.
Now, what was my advantage in using a USB sound card or sound device or whatever marketing
terms they used to describe this thing as opposed to just using the internal onboard
sound chip of my main machine?
Well, first off, if you happen to have a dedicated sound card for your computer with all the
cool advantages and powers that come with that, then odds are you put it in yourself
and you already know the advantages of having it.
The uses are many and technical, and I don't have one of those myself, so I'm not going
to pursue that topic.
Instead, I can tell you the one major advantage of the FastTrack.
It has an XLR mic input on the back.
This is important since I use an XLR mic to record my audio projects.
This is the FastTrack USB, remember, so that means the mic hooks into an XLR cable.
The cable runs to a phantom power supply for the mic, and then on to the FastTrack, which
hooks into my computer through the USB connection.
Now I bought the FastTrack specifically to be used in that fashion.
I don't use it that way anymore for reasons I'll get into another time, but I do still
use it as a dedicated sound card just for our door, a Linux native digital audio workstation
that is a major player in my current audio process.
My first dramatic audio project was a science fiction story called Blue Heaven, and I used
the nice mic to the FastTrack to the computer setup I just described, but not to my desktop
machine.
My desktop is wowed!
Noise from its motherboard is really bad to any mic plugged directly into it, but that
noise is dwarfed by the power supply fan, which sounds like a jet engine taking off
at all times.
It's simply too loud to use for audio projects that demand a certain level of polish.
So instead, I used my 2GIG Triple EPC 701 Surf.
You know the ones, first netbooks to market, and all that, with those old Celeron processors.
Well, mine was running puppy Linux, which loaded into RAM for the sake of speed, and I
hooked my nice mic into it through the FastTrack.
Following this, there's going to be a quiz.
Now I recorded my primary voice work on Blue Heaven that way.
It wasn't easy, and I had to flush the RAM every three or four minutes so the machine
would fill up and crash, but it worked.
I won't ever do it that way again, but it was a learning experience.
But understand that in this context, learning experience is my euphemism for almost more
trouble than it was worth.
The FastTrack can also take a quarter inch audio jack and has settings dedicated to electric
guitars, but that's not something I need.
I'm not a musician, so half of this thing's functionality is lost on me.
If you do play guitar though, and maybe saying or whatever, then you might want to get
something small and cheap and useful.
Make the M audio FastTrack USB.
It's not fancy, but what it does, it does well.
The Vickersons have retired.
Mrs. Vickersons lies rigid but awake in the darkness, as poor husband John, victim of an obscure
type of insomnia that prevents other people from sleeping, exhibits the telltale symptoms
of his dread affliction.
In 1946, on the NBC Radio Network in the United States, a comedy sketch slash sitcom series
began that ranged over quite a few variety shows, such as The Old Gold Show, The Chase and
Sandborne Hour, and Dream Time, D-R-E-N-E.
Dream was a shampoo back then made by Procter and Gamble, who were the sponsors of the
show.
The sketch series that I'm referring to was called The Vickersons.
This is easily one of the funniest, best written, and most widely influential shows in American
comedy history.
Now I do an audio sitcom of my own called Eddie K, and if you listen to it, you will
no doubt spot the influence of The Vickersons, just as you will with The Honeymooners, The
Flintstones, same show really, all in the family, Rosanne, The King of Queens, everybody
loves Raymond, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and many, many more.
You may or may not like any of those shows, and none of them is an out and out copy of
The Vickersons, but I'm not sure that any of them would have been made without it, including
my own.
The show followed an extremely simple formula, and most installments consisted of the two
main characters, married couple John and Blanche, having the most uproarious and obtuse
conversations imaginable, in bed, at two in the morning.
Honestly, that's all that happens on most episodes, yet it's brilliant.
I'll have a link in the show notes to a good page on archive.org with lots of episodes,
with lightning fast, combative wordplay, and the superlative acting talents of Donna
Michi and Frances Langford.
The Vickersons, which went on in various forms for a bunch of years, including a short
stint on early television, is the gold standard that all of us doing this kind of comedy
measure the process by.
It literally does not get better than this.
Will you like it?
I couldn't say, because comedy is the most personal of all art forms.
Nothing is more subjective, nothing is more mysterious, and nothing, not a single thing
in the arts is harder to do well.
Nearly 70 years ago, they pulled it off very well indeed, with the Vickersons.
Tell the truth, John, if anything happened to me, would you marry again?
Never, never again.
Tell me your name, and tell me who you were in your life.
My name was Ludlov, and I was a witch hunter.
The witch hunter Chronicles is a completed nine-episode epic fantasy audio drama from the
appropriately named production house, Audioepics, written by Domian de Groot, or de Groot, or
something like that, directed by Eline Hoskins, and set in a dark world of magic, horror,
and religious tyranny.
Witch hunter follows the story of the heroic traitor Ludlov, recently expired, as he
explains to death himself how exactly he got to be that way.
You'll want to wear your headphones for this one, because it is a sterling example of
immersive audio.
If you listen with your eyes closed, guaranteed you will see a world form in your mind, a frightening
place of great deeds and greater secrets, of grand villainy, and simple kindness, of
witches, and those who hunt them down.
With a sweeping original score, marvelous voice acting, and audio engineering to rival
the best, this self-contained series is not to be missed.
If you're sitting there, as I know some of you are, saying to yourself, well, I might
be good but who cares, I don't like audiobooks, then hear these words.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You think you do, but you do not.
www.audioepics.com.
Shut this HPR episode off right now, because nothing I'm going to say here is even a fraction
as cool as the fascinating world of the witch hunter chronicles.
I don't know what you expect.
What?
Pace, look, tell me!
There really isn't much time, Simina, that God outside could wake up at any moment.
Pace, look, look!
What's going on?
The Grand General has approved the MagiSide Act.
In short, it means that all possible magic users will be killed outrights.
And now for a short bit of feedback.
Hey, Lost in Bronx, it's Deepheek from the Talk Geek To Me newscast.
www.TalkGeekToMe.us Want to tell you how much I hope to hear more?
You talk about old-time radio.
I know you primarily discuss radio plays.
However, I have been listening lately to the old Bing Crosby NBC program, so if I walk
out of that org.
I was wondering if you could touch on this form of old-time radio.
And I'm curious as to what you think, or I should say, if you think that this is just
a nostalgia kick that will only apply to certain generations.
In other words, to relate to something else, this classical music, and people will listen
to say a revolved concerto for, you know, it's a part of a canon of classic music that
will always be listable to by certain people who have that interest.
It's always going to be done.
I was wondering if you thought that there's such a thing as a classic radio that will transcend
generations of people and interest people in centuries to come instead of mere decades.
Thanks for entertaining the question, and I'll be seeing you around the webs.
First off, thanks Deep Geek for sending that in.
It's only been about a year since you've done it, and I'm sure you've already forgotten
that you did.
But that's all right, we don't mind, do we?
Everything is immortal on the internet.
And speaking of immortal, some forms of entertainment and art are indeed immortal, and they transcend
time quite easily.
Other things are a harder sell as time goes on because they get pulled out of the context
of their time, and the social and more relevant elements that make up for the humor or the
entertainment value of the day get lost as the generations pass.
Some shows and some entertainers were a lot better at pulling that sort of thing off.
That being said, if, you know, somebody like Bing Crosby who was a big enough star for
a long enough time that he'll have fans forever, there's always going to be somebody who likes
Bing Crosby.
There's always going to be somebody that enjoys his sort of music.
And you know, he more or less had guests and musicians and such on a show of his that are
going to be more or less in his class, you know, I guess my point is that no, I don't
think it's show like that has eternal value to most people.
It will always have historical value, and for people that can appreciate it, I think that
it will live forever, but the average listener doesn't listen to it now, and I don't think
that's going to change in time.
I think that in time, even fewer people will be listening to that sort of show.
Because that mean that sort of show is devoid of value by no means, by no means, but there's
a difference between eternal universal humor, eternal universal enjoyment of a particular
art form and topical humor or a pop sense of music, right?
Then like pop music of a particular era, unless we're talking about a nostalgic kick, only
people who are like musical historians are going to have any interest in that sort of thing.
Only people that have a true appreciation for that era are going to really enjoy it.
You know, a hundred years from now, very, very few people will have listened to the shows
you're listening to now, and it's just a natural progression.
I don't know.
People are going to enjoy older stuff, only if they study it, you know, you're enjoying
Bing Crosby.
Well, you know, you grew up in an era, and you remember seeing him on television, you
know, when the guy was still alive, and you do have some sense of Bing Crosby, but younger
generations will have to do real investigative work to appreciate this guy and his voice,
right?
And he did have a tremendous voice.
I didn't always enjoy his choice of music because he did a lot of poppy stuff and he
did a lot of schmaltzy stuff, but that doesn't take away from the value he had as an entertainer
because there were a lot of people that really, really enjoyed him.
I have, you know, as I outlined today, I have a real appreciation for some of the older
comedy forms.
He wasn't the funniest guy in the world.
You know, he did do a little bit of comedy, you know, he's mostly known as a singer and
movie star, but someone like, say, Jack Benny.
I think Jack Benny's humor is very universal.
You can laugh at most of what he does on his old Jack Benny radio shows without knowing
a great deal about the era.
That has a lot of universal appeal to me.
The music of that period is something I like as well, but not everyone does.
And if you don't, a variety show that's devoid of that anchor that people can hook onto.
If you don't like that music, you're not going to enjoy sitting through a show that has
it.
So I don't know how much universal appeal these things have because don't forget this
was pop music.
Some of it, some of it lives forever.
Some of it we remember as famous songs that, you know, get reused as the generations
go by, but a lot of it gets lost and a lot of it is not going to have the appeal of a
particular person's generation.
And in my opinion, you need to study this stuff to get a great appreciation of it.
You know, the older and further back you go.
And that's not a bad thing, but it's not a free thing.
It doesn't happen automatically.
You have to make the effort.
Like anything, the more you learn, the more you can appreciate it.
And the more discerning you can become because, you know, like any other era, most of what
they produced was crap and we only remember the good stuff.
That's true today, the vast majority of what's on television or in the movies is garbage.
And yet there are a few things that people are going to remember as time goes on.
So to make this more succinct, I would say, no, I don't think all of that has universal
or eternal appeal.
I think some of it does the best of it and the rest of it is going to be an acquired or
learned taste.
I'm glad you're enjoying it and I enjoy that sort of thing too.
But I think a lot of people need it to be interpreted for their generation.
It's simply because the rest of it is so much labor to understand what they're talking
about, to understand the context and to appreciate the art forms that were prevalent in that
time period.
So enjoy your old stuff and I will enjoy mine and people that appreciate it will enjoy
theirs.
And I hope a little bit of what I'm saying here will inspire someone to investigate
these things because they're worth it.
But it isn't always easy to find the good stuff and it isn't always easy to understand
what's good when every frame of reference has been worn away by time.
So that's my opinion.
Now this is the soapbox portion of the show and this time around I want to talk about
starting and finishing projects.
What motivates me to begin an artistic endeavor and when do I know it's done?
Well some people can't seem to ever get started on a thing.
I'm one of them.
I've done some stuff recently but I've also done an awful lot of nothing for an awful
long time.
Always intending to start that great idea I have tomorrow.
But every tomorrow is also a yesterday and what matters more.
It's also a right now and right now is the only place we live.
So waiting for another day if you don't have to is pointless.
I don't have to tell you any of this.
There's a whole industry of motivational books, speakers, courses, software, you name it.
Something in your life or your research will resonate with you or it won't.
But either way you need to start a thing in order to finish it.
Now, I'm not sure of ideas.
Neither are you.
Being solely of audio drama, if you can't think of something that interests you, if you
can't think of a good story to tell, well then you're either overthinking it or you're
dismissing it out of hand.
Both of those do you know good.
It doesn't matter if your idea has been done before.
They've all been done before.
And it doesn't matter if you don't know where to begin because you begin by doing.
You begin by listening to other shows, to get a sense of what works and what doesn't.
You begin with writing and you create your story and your script.
Forget the hardware, forget questions of talent or skill, hardware can be acquired.
It's just stuff.
Talent is largely illusory, certainly overrated and completely out of anyone's control.
It's not worth a single thought or fret.
That just leaves skill and skill like hardware can be acquired.
So you've listened to old-time radio.
You've listened to the newer stuff.
You found some shows you like and you found a whole lot of them that you don't.
By now you've likely come across a show or two for which you really wish there were more
episodes available.
Something about the show shines for you.
Maybe it's the concept, the genre, the acting, the music, whatever it is.
Well, there's your idea, right there.
I like space opera, ray guns and rockets, daring do.
It's not the only thing I like, but it's a personal favorite.
My latest audio project, the Star Drifter series, reflects that.
I want to hear more stories like this.
I want to pretend I'm a space man on a spaceship.
I want to zap the bad guys and fly between stars.
If I could do it in real life, I would.
So I've come up with a storyline that lets me do it in my head.
Do you like fantasy, horror, mystery, drama, romance, combinations thereof?
Something that mixes your worldview perhaps with your hobby.
If you find them compelling in real life, then you have your story.
Scott Sigler, who needs no introduction from me, has a successful book and audio book
series revolving around something called the Galactic Football League.
And style football in the future in outer space with aliens.
Now that's an idea fueled by personal passion if I ever heard one.
Sigler loves science fiction and he loves football.
And so do a lot of other people apparently because the books sell really well.
An audio drama based on those stories would be loved by a lot of people.
Personal interests, personal passion, that's your story.
And you've got one because you're alive.
You spend your time on earth doing things, occasionally things you enjoy.
So let your story flow from there.
Okay, so you've jumped that hurdle and you've begun.
All the stuff that happens in the middle now is work.
It can be fun too but it is time and labor and you have to take it seriously because no
one else will.
I'll go over my own methods of writing, recording and producing audio drama in future
installments but that really doesn't matter.
You can only learn by immersing yourself in your art form and by practicing it.
Listen to shows, then write one.
Get some friends together and record it.
You can turn it into a party if it helps you or them get over yourselves.
No one else has to hear it at all if you think it sucks.
But you decide that it doesn't and you press on.
You produce it and add sound effects and music, you're done!
Or are you?
How do you know when you're done?
How do you know when your art piece is completed?
Well, when you run out of jobs to do and you find yourself tweaking and tweaking and tweaking.
That's when you're done.
Needlessly fine-tuning and already well-tuned machine is compulsive and unproductive.
Some artists can't get past that point.
Maybe for them the art is in the doing not in the having done.
If so, then they don't need to worry about finishing up.
The rest of us have a project we want to present at some point though so we need to know
when to step away.
Deadlines help.
They can also hinder.
They can make you nervous or feel guilty.
A soft deadline, a coma line will call it.
That can be of real use in an art project.
When the major tasks are done, you set a date.
A date you can revise if a big problem or show stopper, pun intended, comes up, but one
that remains firm otherwise.
The tweaking has a coma line beyond which you will no longer engage in it.
So the date has arrived.
Boom!
Done.
You are done.
Because you stopped.
You called it quits.
Now good enough isn't good enough not for your art, but pretty good is pretty good.
And that's what you've got now.
Something that by your own efforts and by your own standards is pretty good.
And guess what?
With what you've learned this time, your next project will be even better.
If you push your skills to match your vision, your art comes out the winner every time.
That's it for this episode.
I'll really try to get another one out soon.
But in the meantime, you shouldn't believe me because I lie a lot.
I'm an actor.
It's what I do.
You can contact me at Lost in Bronx at gmail.com, that's L-O-S-T-N-B-R-O-N-X at Gmail.
Feel free to check out my site and my own artistic projects at cavalcadeaudio.com.
And please, please consider contributing your own episode to Hacker Public Radio.
Remember what I said, you've got ideas.
Now let's hear them.
This has been Lost in Bronx.
Thank you for listening.
Take care.
You have been listening to Hacker Public Radio at Hacker Public Radio.
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