Episode: 678
Title: HPR0678: Terminally Stupid Episode 1
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr0678/hpr0678.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-08 00:46:02

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Music
Thanks for joining us for episode one of Terminally Stupid A Show where I highlight the
terminally stupider those who come awfully close.
Everyone washes hair, but those who want to license to apply shampoo in Texas to somebody
else's hair need 150 hours of training, with a hundred hours in the theory and practice
of shampooing, including a study of neck anatomy.
A February Wall Street Journal report on excessiveness of state regulation highlighted California's
year-long training to be a barber, Alabama's requirement of 750 hours of schooling to be
a manicurist, and Michigan's 500 practice hours for performing massages.
Okay, we all want someone to be trained when they work on us, but by contrast, many
of the less tightly regulated states seem not to suffer.
Connecticut has no license to sing.
They only have six complaints last year against manicurists.
Four of them involve disputes regarding gift cards.
The next story comes from New York Post, December 19, 2010 edition.
Rap singer Treval Coleman trying to bring closure and get right with God for having shot
a man in 1993, confessed the assault to New York City police in December, hoping that
his humanity might impress the judge, however police checked and then booked Coleman for
murder.
Coleman said, for some reason, I didn't think the victim had died.
See the problem here for Coleman is, A, he shot somebody.
B, he was too stupid to have checked to see if the man lived or died.
Would Newt have simply made more sense to confess to a priest?
I guess this just proves that you have to be smart to get away with murder.
Of course, it's true intelligence, most of those types don't usually break laws.
Here's another brilliant criminal.
This one comes from WTNHTV and New Haven, Connecticut on February 4, 2011.
Robert Michaelson was arrested and farming to Connecticut in February after he called 911
to ask an operator about the lawfulness of a marijuana plant that he was growing.
The operator then informed him that it was illegal.
Of course, online when one calls are automatically traced and recorded, this isn't a new practice
and Michaelson was soon arrested.
After this incident, Mr. Michaelson, I'd venture to guess that growing and smoking that marijuana
probably isn't helping your intelligence level.
This one is a classic.
It dates back to November 5, 2004.
Patricia Frankhouser filed a law suit in Jeanette, Pennsylvania in November 2004 against the
Nofook Southern Railway as a result of being hit by a train 10 months earlier as she walked
on the tracks.
Most of these entries occur when people have headphones on or just aren't paying attention,
but she claimed that her injuries were because the Nofook Southern was negligent for not
posting signs warning that the railroad tracks were sometimes used by trains.
That comes from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review.
Patricia, I have one question for you.
What else are railroad tracks used for?
Stupid people aren't the only stupid things in the news.
Actually, on this next item, the jury is still out, it is called the Beans Awayve.
I have not been able to find anything more recent than 2009 on this item, but it is so
off the wall, yet strangely intriguing that I had to mention it.
The Beans Awayve is, or was, a gadget being developed by Hines.
It is a tiny microwave that measures 7.4 inches tall to 0.6 inches wide and 5.9 inches
deep.
It is designed for use at your desk and runs off power from your USB port on your PC
or laptop.
In the article I found there is also some talk about the possibility of powering it with
rechargeable lithium ion batteries.
I was also able to find a video demonstration of the Beans Awayve, and I'll post that video
on my blog with the show notes.
Well, thanks for listening.
That wraps up this edition.
Hope you enjoyed the comedic vector involved in all of this, and I hope you don't repeat
these people's mistakes.
If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions, please feel free to email me at
MrsZoke.
That's MRSXOKEE at gmail.com.
You can find links to these articles, see the show notes, and more at CaptainDramaticSmom.blogspot.com.
Or you can reach me at our forum at forum.zoke.org.
Thanks, and please join us again next time.
Music offered under Creative Commons license share alike 1.0.
The track featured on this podcast is titled Peaceful Henry by the Heftone Banjo Orchestra.
From their album, MusicBoxRag, you can get a copy of this song and many others at www.Heftone.com
forward slash orchestra.
Stay tuned for the full-length version of this song.
Thank you for listening to Heftone Banjo Orchestra.
Thank you for listening to Heftone Banjo Orchestra.
Thank you for listening to Heftone Banjo Orchestra.
Thank you for listening to Heftone Banjo Orchestra.