hpr-knowledge-base/hpr_transcripts/hpr1006.txt

Episode: 1006
Title: HPR1006: More Experiences Out of a Mental Hospital
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr1006/hpr1006.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-17 17:15:02

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Hello everyone, my name is Sikplop and you are
listening to Miscellaneous Radio Theater 4,096. The episode is also about experiences
in a mental hospital. I got so much feedback from people with that first episode. Thank you,
thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It's time to continue. Talk about my post-care,
like what happens if you go into a mental hospital and whatnot. I'll start by shaking my pills.
This is, that's an antidepressant. That's an anti-psychotic. Let's see here, if we go over here.
Another anti-psychotic, this I take 9 pills a day, so we're ridiculous about the pills in that one.
This is treated side effect. This is treated the same side effect I have. I take my second
anti-psychotic as needed. I take my first one as needed and I have the same drug for the
side effects. This is another antidepressant. So those are my pills. But that's enough of that,
let's take a trip. Let's go on a bus downtown. Last time I talked to you guys, I was just out of the
hospital in the hospital two more times and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia disorder,
which is the combination of schizophrenia and mood disorder. So I have schizophrenia,
I have a body of hallucinations, hair voices, I have delusions, although the delusions I have now,
I probably don't know I have. Delusions I had, I knew I had, or rather I knew I have. That makes
any sense. We're going to be exploring one aspect of this, one aspect of my life,
the treatment. And so let's get off the bus.
Here we are during very few riverside, this is the hospital, it comes to three times a week.
It's like about mepeanins and whatnot.
Let's see here.
But the maze it is, behavioral emergency center, this is where I am, this is where I've been coming for four months.
Hello, I'm here with Mike and I'm going to ask Mike, we're back at WART World Radio 98.7 on your FM dial.
We're talking to Mike. The question for that we all have in our minds is Mike, when do you think
when do you think I identifying with a mental illness becomes too much? When do you think it's
beyond your person coping with a mental illness to the point where it's here's someone who's
invested way too much in having mental illness?
The problem with me is I don't have that point of when enough is enough because I can always
not, I can always improve myself no matter what and I'm trying to work on myself to be able to
be in society and have a stable mental pattern. So I'm not yelling at people who are kind of vicious
because we all know we have people out there that are like that at our jobs so.
Yeah, so you're working on just coping and it sounds like?
Basically, I've been going through depression for 12 years and I've been trying to pull out of it
and I'm finally pointing out of it so now I'm trying to get to the point where I can be out of it
and stay stable and happy and be nice. What do you, what you're out of depression,
what do you think of yourself as someone with depression? Do you think you'll think of yourself
differently? I will definitely think of myself differently because now I know how to beat it
and my strength lies in what I've done and beating this depression I will be going to
and places unknown and very fun things are going to happen in my life. Thank you.
All right, that's enough for today.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, that's enough of that. I'm not going to shove a microphone to people's
faces and especially when they're patients, I think it's kind of rude. So that's the extent of the
interviews. That's the extent of the interviews for this episode. I was from day treatment
which is something I go to three times a week. Just talk about your feelings,
sort of group therapy, sort of thing mixed in with the occupational therapy, which is it's fun,
keeps me doing something that makes sense. It gives structure to my life. So I think that
the structure has a lot to do with it. There are then there people I can talk to there
and in one hand. So yeah, that was from day treatment. And since there are no interviews,
the last interview question will be presented to me and the question is what it's like,
what is it like having schizophrenia? Well, it sucks quite frankly. It's a disorder. I have
schizophrenia, which is a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder and it's chronic,
having a last year entire life. And I've had one episode of one psychotic episode and I'm bound to
have another. What will happen during another episode? I have no idea. But yeah, kind of stinks.
I'm applying for disability, which is good. I'm applying for general assistance, which is good.
Which I hear you can get both of those things with schizophrenia. Disorder, since it is kind of a
life-changing thing. Let's see here. What are delusions like? I don't know. I don't know what to tell you
about delusions. You don't really know you have them. Tell you, someone has told you that they're
delusional or you've thought about it for a good long time and come to being delusional. But
yeah, it all makes sense. Except for one little thing. And that one little thing that doesn't make
sense is often what brings me to think it's delusional, what I'm thinking. Like I had the delusion,
for instance, that people were following me. There's an abandoned house next to where I helped my
friend and her girlfriend move in together. There's an abandoned house, and I was convinced that
they're people squatting in it, watching me and following me. And I thought about this for a while,
and why does it have to do with me question, which is unresolved, which can't be resolved,
because it's delusional. That's why, because it's completely delusional, has nothing to do with you.
And that takes a while. That takes a while to realize. And sometimes that takes someone else telling you.
So I guess that's what a delusional thought is like. What hearing voices are like?
I hear it's different for everyone. For me, it's when people talk. I can hear them insult me,
call me names while they're talking, but they're not saying that. It's just in my head, but it sounds
like they're saying it. So it's kind of an assisted voice of that makes sense. It's assisted by the
audio of someone's voice being there. And I just interpret their sounds as a distinct external voice,
telling me bad things, which is not very fun. The first hallucination I had was the smell of bleach,
which I smelled when I was in the hospital. I couldn't get it out. It made me sick too. I didn't
want to eat anything bloody bleach smell everywhere. And yeah, that was my first hallucination.
Let's see here. Yeah, that's it. I think that's all I have to say about the subject. Thanks for
listening, everyone, and take care and enjoy your days. Bye-bye.
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