hpr-knowledge-base/hpr_transcripts/hpr0693.txt

Episode: 693
Title: HPR0693: Terminally Stupid Episode 3
Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr0693/hpr0693.mp3
Transcribed: 2025-10-08 01:01:55

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Thank you for joining me for another episode of Terminally Stupid, a show where I highlight
the Terminally Stupid or those who come off the close.
This is Episode 3, and I am Mrs. Zoke.
Our first story is from the March 21st 2011 edition of San Antonio Express in Texas.
In this story we learned that a man upset over the new, higher price of a beefy crunch
burrito at Taco Bell fired an air rifle at the manager of the establishment.
It seems that the beefy crunch burrito price went up from $0.99 to $1.49.
The customer, Ricardo Jones, had just ordered seven of set burrito and became very angry
that due to the price increase, his order now caused an additional $3.50, as well as
some additional tax.
He branded several weapons in the parking lot of the Taco Bell and fled when police were
called.
He was later pulled over by police, pointed one of his weapons at the three officers who
pulled him over and fled again when they opened fire.
He then barricaded himself in his motel room.
Swat was called and spent three hours negotiating with Jones before employing tear gas to
get in out of his motel room.
It was learned that all of his weapons were found to be air-powered in nature, and Jones
has since been taken into custody and charged with two felony counts of aggravated assault
against a public servant.
Jones was in the backstreet county jail on bail, totally $50,000.
No one was injured in the incident.
Mr. Jones will now potentially have higher expenses to pay that total a great deal more
than $3.50, and it is probably going to be a long time before he gets another beefy
crunch burrito.
Despite that, I have one question for Mr. Jones, who pointed an air-powered weapon at police
officers.
You were aware that police officers across this nation do use firearms with rounds significantly
larger than babies, right?
And that they travel a great deal faster and farther?
You also know that when threatened with anything that resembles a gun, the police officers
don't usually stop to ask if it's a toy before they protect themselves, right?
Think you are very lucky your adult temper tantrum over the cost of burritos, and your stupid
baby gun antics didn't lead to your death.
Although your genetic material being removed from the human gene pool probably wouldn't
have hurt my feelings any.
Our second story comes from the date and daily news in the 26th of March this year.
It seems that an Ohio man, Lieutenant Daniel D. Virgileo, is being charged more than a
million dollars per team to watch the sweet 16-rounder of the NCAA men's basketball tournament.
According to the letter he received Wednesday from Time Warner Cable, the Beaver Creek Ohio
resident was informed that his automatic credit card payment to Time Warner had been rejected
for non-sufficient funds.
The payment amount was $16,409,107.
In regards to this very large sum, Lieutenant D. Virgileo said, had I known, I would about
show time.
Five bucks more for show time is a bit much, but heck, $16,409,012, who cares?
D. Virgileo said he spent more than 40 minutes Wednesday on the phone with a Time Warner
customer service representative who was confused by the problem.
Time Warner Cable officials on Thursday attributed $16.4 million to human error, and employee
typed the wrong number for the amount owed, which caused the company's automated systems
generate the letter.
A Time Warner spokesman said, we apologize for the inconvenience that it has caused.
The spokesman said, we are going to work with the customer to get this resolved.
I should hope so.
While you're at it, work with your billing clerks.
They seem to be additional training in regards to typing and proofreading skills, or maybe
you should just automate the billing process, too.
Our next story is proof of the existence of karma, and it comes to us from Boise Idaho
and the Associated Press, via ABC7 News in Chicago, as it appeared on their site, March 24,
2011.
25-year-old Daniel D'Amico was arrested after calling police to report his wallet missing.
Boise police realized that Mr. D'Amico matched the description of a man that was suspected
of stealing a wallet, off the desk of a potential employer during an interview.
A credit card from the wallet that D'Amico was to have stolen was used to buy tobacco
at two stores, and it was while leaving a second store that D'Amico believes he may
have dropped his own wallet.
Police have recovered the credit card and wallet that D'Amico is suspected of stealing
and using, but have not recovered D'Amico's missing wallet.
Karma seems to have a way of doling at its own brand, but justice.
From what I have observed in life, Mr. D'Amico is getting off lucky.
Karma tends to hit you in a way that is ten times worse when it does hit.
In your lesson, Mr. D'Amico encounters your blessings.
And by the way, if you haven't guessed Mr. D'Amico, you probably didn't get the job.
Also from the Associated Press, on March 24, 2011, and ABC7 News of Chicago, we are treated
to this gym.
In Naples, Florida, call your county sheriff, Deputy, say 43-year-old Claudia Cokur, who was charged
with aggravated battery after an incident outside the Walmart where both women work.
On the night of the 21st, the victim told Deputy she was walking to her car after her
shift ended, when Cokur doused her with a substance that burned her eyes.
That's when the two women started fighting, and sometimes during the fight, Cokur bit
off the tip of the victim's finger.
Cokur told Deputy she heard a rumor that the other woman was having an affair with her
husband, who also works at Walmart.
Ms. Cokur, this behavior may be the reason that your husband is having an affair.
It is if the rumors about an affair are true.
And here I thought all the stories and pictures I see about the people of Walmart were always
just of the customers, but it looks like it's also the employees.
Now the news takes us to New York.
In the March 22, 2011 edition of the Times Harrow Record, it is reported that 49-year-old
Keith Gruber was scheduled for a 10-30 a.m. pre-trial hearing for a felony driving
while intoxicated charge.
This was not Mr. Gruber's first DWI offense, as he's had several other convictions for
the same behavior in the past.
Mr. Gruber showed up to his pre-trial hearing a half-hour late.
He was intoxicated, and carrying a black bag that contained four cans of bush beer in
one hand, with the fifth open can in the other.
He tried to throw away the open can, but officers stopped him.
The bag was confiscated, and the security check of this bag was presented to the judge.
Mr. Gruber, who had been out of jail in $30,000 bail at the time of the hearing, was promptly
remanded to the custody of jail without bail.
It is safe within the article that Mr. Gruber apologized to the judge for his behavior.
Unfortunately for Mr. Gruber, I don't think I'm sorry is going to fix it.
At least not this time, because of course I'm sorry only fixes it in the behavior changes.
Our last story goes back a few years.
I found it in the journal out of West Virginia, and it was published on September 16, 2009.
Evidently on August 28th, Berkeley County Sheriff's Deputies were called to a home regarding
a suspected burglary.
The victim told police that someone had broken into her home through a bedroom window.
There were open cabinets in her garage and other signs of a burglary.
The victim later noticed that the intruder also used her computer to check his Facebook
status, and his account was still open when she checked the computer.
19-year-old Jonathan G. Parker was the owner of that Facebook account, and he was located
arrested, and I have to assume that by now he has been given a conviction and a sentence.
Mr. Parker, even when not in the process of committing a burglary, it is always good practice
to log out of any and all accounts you've logged into, especially if the computer does not
belong to you.
It is also suggested that you clear your browsing history.
Although this is only truly important when you're visiting pages you don't want anyone
to know you visited.
Of course, Facebook would probably fall into this category if you're a burglary checking
your Facebook account, or at least I would have thought so.
It is now time for this week's gadget.
The company Thinkham has developed and is marketing a USB-powered but cooler cushion to make
sure that your seat stays cool and comfy.
Just plug it into your computer via the USB cable and enjoy a fresh and cool computing
experience thanks to the integrated fan.
Not only that, but you can use it in your car as well thanks to the USB lighter socket
adapter.
This gadget promises to keep your posterior cool and fresh, regardless of the heat and
humidity, by delivering a constant airflow through the cushion.
It is retailing for about $60, and if you want the lighter socket adapter that is about
$10 more.
I am not seeing any way to select the color you wish to order, but I am seeing it displayed
in a nice, neutral gray.
Surprisingly, I'm not seeing any product reviews, and I can't say I've heard too many complaints
about sweaty butt problems while computing.
I don't imagine too many would admit the problem publicly, even if they did suffer from
the sale.
All the same?
Thank you, thinko.
Well, thanks for listening, that wraps up this edition.
Hope you enjoyed the comedic factor involved in all of this, and I hope you don't repeat
these people's mistakes.
If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions, please feel free to email me at Mrs.
Locke.
That's MRSXOKE at gmail.com.
You can find links to these articles, see the show notes, and more at CaptainTraumaticSmom.blogspot.com,
or you can reach me at our forum at forum.soke.org.
Thanks, simply join us again next time.
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