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189 lines
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189 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
Episode: 4267
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Title: HPR4267: Borderlands Movie Review
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Source: https://hub.hackerpublicradio.org/ccdn.php?filename=/eps/hpr4267/hpr4267.mp3
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Transcribed: 2025-10-25 22:18:36
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---
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This is Hacker Public Radio Episode 4,267 for Tuesday 10 December 2024.
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Today's show is entitled, Waterland's Movie Review.
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It is hosted by Kebi, and is about 13 minutes long.
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It carries a clean flag.
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The summary is, Kebi shares his thoughts on the much-maligned Waterland's Movie.
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Hello, hello, this is Kebi from the Tuxtam Podcast, and welcome to another episode of HPR.
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Now, for those that know me, there'll know I'm a gamer, and I'm a particularly big fan
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of the Borderlands gaming series.
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So when I discovered a wee while ago that there was a film in the pipeline, it intrigued
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me.
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But, you know, given my past experience of games been made into films, I really didn't
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have that many high hopes.
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So one of the things that everybody cannot help but notice is that this film, since it
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has been released, has received overwhelmingly pure critical reviews.
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And let's bear one thing in mind, critical reviews are not a reflection on the entertainment
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value of a film.
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The Art of the Skirl, while it was very well written, and to be honest, it was actually
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amazing, given the tiny budget, was actually a boring film to watch, despite being critically
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acclaimed.
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In fact, if you want to go hear my thoughts, you can go and hear that in HPR episode 4,257.
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Now, for those of you who are planning to watch this, or want to watch it, or who are
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on the fence, then I will say you can listen to this, and this is going to be a spoiler
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free review.
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So if you're familiar with the Borderlands series of games, then you'll know that they're
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humorous, they're wacky, they're completely over the top.
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So if you're expecting a realistic game that would rival something like the Call of
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Duty series, then if you play Borderlands, you're going to be
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totally disappointed.
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However, if you're wanting a fun, run-and-gun loot or shooter, with quite cartoony graphics
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and very often inappropriate humour, I wouldn't play this with any small children's ears
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running around, then this is the type of thing that you'll actually enjoy.
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So if you start from this premise, then I think you're going to enjoy this film and
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off a lot more.
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It is absolutely full of violence, full of over-the-top explosions, big, big, big guns,
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very often daft and sulting sadistic humour.
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So it's just like the game to be perfectly honest.
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So I must admit, if I watched it, I actually chuckled my way throughout the film and actually
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quite enjoyed it.
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Now the main characters in the film are Lilith, Tiny Tina, Craig the Psycho, Roland,
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Claptrap and Tannis.
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And although I did enjoy this film, it certainly wasn't perfect.
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And this is where I'm going to make my first complaints.
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Some of the actors simply are not right for the roles.
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If you know the game, Roland, he's a big guy in the game.
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But instead, he's played by a short actor, Kevin Hart, and he's actually the butt of quite
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a few short jokes throughout the film.
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I mean, to me, this would have been an impossible one, but to me, somebody the size of like
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Tommy Tiny Lister, he's known to play Dibo in the Friday Films and Zeus and WWF if you
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were into it in the late 80s or early 90s.
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He would have been far more apt in my opinion, a much bigger guy, because Roland in the
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game is not small, he's a big guy.
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Tannis, who's played by Jamie Lee Curtis and at 65, she was simply too old for the character.
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I'm not saying that older people, of course, can't act.
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I'm not saying that at all, but she's not an old character in the game.
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And the other thing they kind of felt, they really felt like they left out was they didn't
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really come through.
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In the game, it's quite obvious there's something not right.
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Whether she's got mental health issues, whether she's got, she's on the autistic spectrum,
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there's something very, very clear that Tannis in the game is not of kind of sound mind
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100% of the time.
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You know, she has a real, what makes me say autism slightly is she's got a lack of compassion
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for anything, and she doesn't really communicate very well with others, and been a teacher
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I've picked up with I had in my own experience.
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They didn't pick that up at all, Lilith, who's played by Kate Blanchett, again, was
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far too old for the role of a vault hunter, who was supposed to be aged 27, right?
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I will quote the Borderlands manual here, Lilith claims her parish came from crossing
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the hotness threshold.
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Any woman as good-looking as me can do what I can do, that's the official statement.
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Lilith's main to be a hot character, and whilst I'm certainly not saying Kate Blanchett
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is ugly, but her days of playing a 27-year-old feature woman who's main to be the eye-candy
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of the film really are well and truly behind her.
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Now that's not to say that all of the characters were a disaster, not at all.
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Claptrap was absolutely fantastic, the portrayal of this friendly but annoying robot was absolutely
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sport-on.
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You had Craig, the psycho, who, that was great, big, huge, mussely guy, kind of grunted,
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that's all he kind of really does anyway, tiny Tina was very well done, although I'm
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going to come back to tiny Tina in a moment.
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Moxie I thought was absolutely shown perfectly, older woman heavily caked in makeup with
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a very well-endowed chest, which she wasn't shy about flaunting right out of the game.
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I mean, even down to, I love the fact that Neon signed with the legs at the bar, that
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was absolutely perfect.
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Now, whilst I know that they simply couldn't have included a DVD character, there are a
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few glading omissions.
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I felt that two of them were Mordekheim Brick, who played a big part in the game series.
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They are two of the whole time until she could play through in the first game and they
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appear in the second game as well, quite heavily.
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So I really felt they really should have had something, even if it was only a cameo, they
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should have had something.
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But the biggest omission for me anyway, by far my way, is the ever-present villain Hansom
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Jack.
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Why or why did they not include the one who is probably the most memorable character from
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the series, with maybe the only exception they had been claptrap, you could argue for
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him.
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But although, to give them their due, it kind of was based around the first game and Hansom
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Jack doesn't really appear until the second, but he's just such a big part.
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Wait a minute, no, only the tiny Tina doesn't appear in the first, I don't think.
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So no, that argument was like the window.
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So yeah, they really should have had Hansom Jack, in my opinion.
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And the guy, the crime guy, the bad guy, he's Atlas, who's head of the Atlas gun corporation,
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he's not even a character in Borderlands, but yet he's made as one of the main characters.
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But anyway, like I said, I'm not going to spoil anything.
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And the last kind of negative point that I would like to highlight, and it doesn't really
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ruin the story, but I just didn't like it because I knew the background.
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They changed the backgrounds of two of the characters.
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Lilith is in the full and misced to have come from Pandora, but according to Game Canon,
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she's from the planet of Dionysus.
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Okay, that's not major, but they seem to make a big thing about it in the film about
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how she's from Pandora.
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So I didn't like that personally, that's personal.
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And another major change was tiny Tina.
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According to the game, tiny Tina and her parents were sold to Iperian to become test subjects
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for handsome jacks, slag mutation experiments.
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And they get, they die from this, the parents, but tiny Tina man just to escape, because of
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Agilene, a few granades she hides in her skirt or dress or something, and I can't remember
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off top of my head, but she, and this is what kind of starts her with being a bomb fanatic.
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And it's good to see they kept that part going.
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And of course, once she was free and she got away, she rose revenge on flesh to keep you
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meet in the second borderlands game.
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However, the film makes her into a lab creation, and she's not a real child at all, but rather
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she's been created from experiments, and she's kept in a cell and rolling them
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Craig.
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They either not escape.
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Again, I'm not spoiling anything here, this is right at the start of the film.
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So but overall though, right, who would I recommend this to?
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Well to me personally, you've got to be a borderlands fan, either that or if you are a fan
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of over the top wild, wacky kind of space shoot him up style films, this will be right
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up your street as well.
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If you're expecting something like that would kind of be another film from the alien franchise,
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you're going to be disappointed.
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It's not that type of film at all.
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Think more along the lines of a much more adult themed naked gun, but on an alien planet.
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It's over the top, it's wacky, it's fun, it just, it made me chuckle throughout.
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I think as long as you don't go in with high hopes thinking it's going to be a
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phenomenal film, then you're really as, you're going to enjoy, it's not, it's not a world
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be that it's not going to be film of the year, no, I'm not saying that.
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However, for any borderlands fan, there's enough there that to me made it an enjoyable
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romp.
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And I actually thought, I saw people criticising this online constantly about how the
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humour was toilet humour all the time.
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Yeah, go and play the games and you'll understand why they did that, that is very much for that.
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So yeah, that's just my thoughts.
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To the point that the reviews were so bad, I actually wasn't going to watch this.
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However, I was in, it was pouring rain, cold November evening and I thought, I'm going
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to watch this and actually I'm so glad I did.
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Is it perfect?
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No, not at all.
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Right?
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And it's been that well-panned actually that I really hope that they do make a second one
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and include handsome Jack in it.
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But as far as, as far as enjoyable it goes, as far as getting the borderlands theme, I
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really thought that they got this spot on.
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The biggest critique that I would have of it was just, I feel that they went with an
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actor, purely based on who they were and they could get them, rather than the best person
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for the job.
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So yeah, that's the Borderlands movie.
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If you're a Borderlands fan, check it out.
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If you're not, I would say go and try to play some of the games first, especially with
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being around kind of Black Friday and Christmas time, you're going to pick these up on deals.
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I would highly recommend actually Borderlands 2.
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You don't miss an awful lot from not playing Borderlands 1, get Borderlands 2 the full package
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or get, actually go and get the full franchise package.
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They quite often do good deals, there's a handsome collection and a few other different packs
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where you get a bunch of games and a bunch of DLCs.
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Certainly don't pay full price for them because they're always on offer.
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Right, so I'm Carey and that was a slightly different one for me, but you've been listening
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to HPR.
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Please do consider contributing and of course, with it being Christmas time for many of us
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around the world, especially if you are a geek, then you're probably going to get quite
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a few gadget-y type things.
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I would highly recommend if you can, record a wee episode on what you got and maybe give
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a wee review of it because it's always fun to hear about what people got over the
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face of period.
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So until next time, tune in tomorrow for another amazing episode of HPR.
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You have been listening to Hacker Public Radio at Hacker Public Radio does work.
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Today's show was contributed by a HPR listener like yourself.
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out how easy it really is.
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The hosting for HPR has been kindly provided by an honesthost.com, the Internet Archive
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and our sings.net.
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On this advice status, today's show is released on our Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International
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License.
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